Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-23

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

 

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The given line graph illustrates that in Melbourne, Australia there's a various type of activites at one social centre are held in which the participants are mentioned in the numeric form and this graph shows the data in gap of every 5 years.

Although the numbers of table tennis players are increasing every year 5 year and the numbers are rapidly growing after 2010 furthermore there's no participant of musical performances in 2000 but after year of 5 there's little bit of numbers are increasing in it also.

add upon the amateur dramatics had the blown up in numbes in their initial years but after 2005 there's drastically blown down in their numbers which shows the negative impact additionally the number of martial arts participants are also shuffling every 5 year they blow up and down and lastly the film club members have the straight line up participants where the numbers are little bit increasing decreasing not a major changes in the numbers.

overall there was the film club participants where the data should be shown as stable and fix.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response attempts to cover the main features of the line graph, noting trends for categories such as table tennis, amateur dramatics, and the film club. However, the data reporting is vague, inaccurate, or missing precise comparisons. For instance, stating that amateur dramatics had 'blown up in numbers' contradicts the data, as it started at 26 and steadily declined to 6. Furthermore, the overview is extremely weak, consisting of a single repetitive sentence at the end that lacks clarity. The response fails to adequately synthesize and contrast all trends, resulting in a performance that meets the criteria for Band 5.0.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response suffers severely from poor paragraphing and run-on sentences. The entire body of the text is essentially written as two massive, poorly punctuated blocks, making it difficult for the reader to follow the progression of ideas. Cohesive devices are either missing, misused, or overly informal, such as 'add upon' and 'furthermore' used awkwardly to link disparate points. While there is a basic attempt to group information, the lack of appropriate paragraph separation and the chaotic logical progression place this text firmly in the Band 4.0 range.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.0

The student uses a very limited and repetitive vocabulary, relying heavily on informal and inaccurate phrasing like 'blown up', 'blown down', 'straight line up', and 'shuffling every 5 year'. Word choices are frequently unnatural and fail to demonstrate the precision expected in academic writing. While the meaning is occasionally retrievable, spelling and word formation issues are noticeable throughout the text, corresponding to a Band 4.0 level.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

Grammatical control is weak throughout the response, featuring a high frequency of basic and complex structural errors. There are numerous run-on sentences joined incorrectly with commas or conjunctions, such as '...there's a various type of activites at one social centre are held in which...'. Subject-verb agreement errors, missing prepositions, and tense confusion are pervasive. Because errors are frequent and often impede readability and comprehension, the writing aligns with Band 4.0 descriptors.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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