Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-24
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.0)
The graph underneath offer detail on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.
In the summary, the number of participants are the highest upper of graph is film club and the some participants are lowest is amateur dramatics.And the other participants are maximum fiml is below and the amateur is upper.
In the explanation, the number participants , by activity in 2000 to 2020 . the number of participants are first is film club are the highest is maximum started for 65 number of participants is foward the 65 end of years are 2000 to 2020. and the the second martial arts are the medium is maximum started for 35 number of participants is throw 35 is end of years in 2000 to 2020. The third is table tennis are the maximum started is 15 to 55 are the number of participants in years of 2000 to 2020. And the fourth is musical instruments is maximum started is 0 to 18 are the number of paricipants in years of 2005 to 2020. The last participants of activity is amateur is lowest in many participants but It is started in 25 to 13 are the number of participants in tear of 2000 to 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0
The response attempts to cover the main features of the chart, mentioning specific activities such as the film club, martial arts, table tennis, musical performances, and amateur dramatics. However, the communication of these trends is significantly hampered by confusing sentence structure and inaccurate data interpretation. For instance, the text states that musical instruments 'started is 0 to 18' and amateur dramatics dropped to 13 (whereas the final value in 2020 is approximately 6). Furthermore, the overview attempted in the second paragraph is extremely fragmented and lacks clarity regarding the overall trends. Consequently, the task is only partially addressed, earning a band score of 4.0.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0
The essay lacks logical progression and organisation. Although the student attempts to divide the response into an introduction, an overview, and body details, the mechanical grouping of sentences and severe lack of cohesive devices result in a disjointed text. Phrases like 'In the summary,' 'In the explanation,' and repetitive transitions create a very choppy reading experience. Paragraphing is present visually, but the internal cohesion within paragraphs fails to guide the reader smoothly through the comparative data. Reference words are frequently misused or ambiguous, making it difficult to follow the progression of ideas.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.0
The vocabulary used is very basic and repetitive, with numerous errors in word formation and choice (e.g., 'underneath' instead of 'below', 'fiml' instead of 'film', 'paricipants' instead of 'participants', 'tear' instead of 'year'). The student struggles to use appropriate terminology for describing data trends, relying on phrases like 'maximum started' and 'highest is maximum'. There is a very limited range of lexical items appropriate for an academic task, and spelling mistakes frequently occur, which restricts the lexical score to a band 4.0.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0
Grammatical control is weak throughout the response. The text is characterised by a high frequency of basic structural errors, run-on sentences, and fragmented clauses (e.g., 'the number participants , by activity in 2000 to 2020 . the number of participants are first is film club...'). There is an almost total absence of accurate complex sentence structures, and basic subject-verb agreement rules are frequently broken (e.g., 'the number of participants are'). Punctuation is also erratic, with misplaced periods and commas. These frequent errors cause considerable strain for the reader.
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