Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-25

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

 

 

Student answer (Band 4.0)

It is believed by some people that competition play a crucial role in an individuals’ life. While other believe cooperation has a greater impact on it. Many argue that competition is undoubtedly the most significant factor of a persons’ success. In contrast, other suggest cooperation plays a vital role in a persons’ everyday life. This essay will assess both perspectives before reaching an agreeable conclusion.

Competition not keeps a person motivated to achieve his future goal, but make them more concentrated and hard working. Every year numerous students compete each other to secure their position in world recognised universities. This is the reason most students start preparing from a young age to maximise their chances to get admitted to their dream universities. Additionally, most employees in a company tend to work harder to gain promotions and bonuses. Moreover, businesses often try to overcome their rivals by introducing better product and services. For example, most car companies compete with each other in term of features and reliability which makes most companies to introduces more features so they could have advantage over their competitor.

On the other hand, cooperation can have its own benefits as well. Cooperation can make various brains to work together, which could increase creativity. Furthermore, it encourages many individuals to work together making them more confident and boosting their team work skills. This could also have good influence on their social skills. For example, many people who have never worked in a group seems more nervous when speaking in front of other, compared to ones who have worked in a group.

Ultimately, it would not be wrong to say that both views have both advantages and drawbacks. However, I personally believe a balance should be kept between competition and cooperation. Competing where it is necessary and cooperating when it is required.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 1.0

The candidate has written an essay on the wrong topic. The writing task required an Academic Task 1 response summarising a line graph about participation numbers for different activities at a social centre in Melbourne from 2000 to 2020. Instead, the candidate has written an Independent Writing Task 2 essay discussing whether competition or cooperation is more important in life. Consequently, the candidate completely fails to address the visual data, make comparisons, or provide an overview of the graph. Under the official IELTS band descriptors for Task Achievement, when a response is completely off-topic and fails to address the prompt, it receives a band score of 1.0.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

Although the text is written in response to the wrong prompt, it is structured like a standard argumentative essay. The response is divided into logical paragraphs with an introduction, body paragraphs supporting different views, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices are used to connect ideas, such as 'In contrast', 'Additionally', and 'On the other hand'. However, referencing and progression are occasionally repetitive. Paragraphing is used sufficiently, but overall cohesion is impacted by the fundamental irrelevance of the content to the source material.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The lexical range is adequate for expressing general arguments, featuring words like 'cooperation', 'creativity', 'motivation', and 'perspective'. However, there are notable word-form and spelling errors throughout the text, such as 'an individuals’ life' (instead of individual's), 'other believe' (others), and 'in term of' (in terms of). Less common vocabulary is attempted with varying degrees of success, but inaccuracies prevent the lexical score from reaching higher bands.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, including conditional and comparative clauses. However, the text contains frequent grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('competition play', 'make them', 'other suggest'), incorrect prepositions, and awkward phrasing ('Competition not keeps a person motivated... but make them...'). While meaning is generally clear despite these errors, the high frequency of grammatical slips prevents the score from exceeding Band 5.0.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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