Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-27
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The period 2000 to 2020 number of participants for different activities at one social center in Melbourne, Australia. There are five number of participants Film club, Martial arts, Amateur dramatics, Table tennis, Musical performance.
In 2000 number of participant of film club 64 and no musical performance. Number of participant of amateur dramatics was 26 and martial arts 36. Number of participant of table tennis was 16.
In 2005 number of participant of film club 62 and martial arts 31. Number of participant of amateur dramatic was 30 and the table tennis 20. Number of participant of musical performance zero as compare to past years.
In 2010 number of participant of film club 60 and martial arts was 39. Number of participant of amateur dramatics was 20 and the table tennis same as 20 and the musical performance was 10.
In 2015 number of participant of film club 65 and martial arts was 35. Number of participant of amateur dramatics was 15 and table tennis was 36 and the musical performance was 15.
In 2020 number of participant of film club 67 and martial arts 36. Number of participant of amateur dramatics was 5. It was very low than the previous year. Number of participant of table tennis 55. It was very high than the previous years. Number of participant of musical performance was 20. It was very high than the previous years.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The student attempts to address the task by reporting the figures for each year from 2000 to 2020. However, the response fails to provide an overview of the main trends and relies heavily on a mechanical year-by-year listing of data points rather than synthesising the information. Furthermore, there are several inaccuracies when reporting the numbers, such as stating the film club participation was 65 in 2015 when the graph shows approximately 64, and reporting martial arts in 2005 as 31 instead of 32. While some key comparisons are made at the end, the lack of an overarching summary and the heavy reliance on isolated data points prevent this from achieving a higher band score.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5
The text is organised chronologically, with each paragraph dedicated to a specific year from 2000 to 2020. However, there is an absence of an introduction and an overview paragraph, leading to a mechanical and list-like structure. Cohesive devices are extremely limited and repetitive, with almost every sentence beginning with variations of 'Number of participant of...'. Paragraphing is technically present due to the year-by-year breakdown, but the lack of logical progression between ideas and the absence of sophisticated referencing or substitution keep the coherence at a lower level.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.5
The vocabulary used is extremely repetitive and basic. The phrase 'Number of participant of' is repeated obsessively across almost every single sentence. There is a lack of less common vocabulary or paraphrasing for key terms, and vocabulary related to data trends (such as 'fluctuate', 'surge', 'decline', or 'gradually increase') is entirely missing. Spelling and word choice errors are noticeable, such as 'amateur dramatic' instead of 'amateur dramatics', and awkward comparative phrases like 'very low than the previous year'. The lexical range is minimally adequate for conveying basic numbers but lacks the flexibility required for Academic Task 1.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0
The response features very simple sentence structures, often consisting of fragmented or incomplete clauses lacking essential verbs, such as 'In 2000 number of participant of film club 64 and no musical performance.' Complex sentence forms are virtually absent, and grammatical accuracy is poor due to frequent omission of articles, prepositions, and auxiliary verbs (e.g., 'zero as compare to past years'). Punctuation is basic, and subject-verb agreement issues frequently occur. These persistent errors and the limited range of grammatical structures cause noticeable difficulty for the reader.
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