Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-28
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The supplied line graph demonstrates data on the figer of members for diverse tasks at one social centre in melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.
Overall, number of participents did activities in three decades in different events such as film club, material arts, amateur dramatics, table tennis, musical performances. Trend of film club at peak in whole decades, but musical performance ratio did not stable in that decades.
Approximately 63 competitors join film club activities its trend escalate in 3 decades, However martial arts trend flactuate in whole decades almost 36 members. Although in the commence table tennis trend did not rise rapidly round about 18 participents join this activity , after decade its trend escalate swiftly approximately 55 members join this activity in 2020.
Furthermore, in began musical performances trend did not grown almost 0 members join this club in 2005 While ater 1.5 deacade 15 contributor join this task in 2020. In addition, amateur dramatics trend rapidly escalte nearly 20 members join this activity in 2010, but after decade 57 persons join this club.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5
The student attempts to cover the main features of the line graph, including the overall trends of the various activities such as the film club and table tennis. However, there are significant inaccuracies in data reporting. For instance, the student states that amateur dramatics rose rapidly to nearly 20 members in 2010 and then 57 persons joined in 2020, whereas the graph shows a steady decline for amateur dramatics down to around 6 members in 2020. Furthermore, the overview is somewhat confused, and key comparisons are largely missed or inaccurate. These data misinterpretations prevent the response from achieving a higher band score.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5
The response is organized into four paragraphs, attempting an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs. However, the logical progression is hindered by poor cohesion and confusing sentence structures. Cohesive devices such as 'However', 'Although', and 'Furthermore' are used mechanically or incorrectly to link contradictory or inaccurate ideas. For example, 'Although in the commence table tennis trend did not rise rapidly... after decade its trend escalate swiftly' demonstrates weak internal cohesion and awkward transitions. Paragraphing is present, but the overall flow makes the text difficult to follow.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.0
The vocabulary used is very limited and basic, with frequent spelling and word-choice errors that occasionally impede communication. Examples of errors include 'figer' instead of figure, 'material arts' instead of martial arts, 'flactuate' instead of fluctuate, and 'commence' used incorrectly as a noun. The student attempts some less common terms like 'escalate', but overall the lexical range is inadequate for precise reporting of data, relying heavily on repetitive and inaccurate terminology.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0
The student exhibits a very limited range of grammatical structures, relying mostly on simple sentences with frequent structural errors. There are numerous punctuation errors, missing articles, and tense inconsistencies. For instance, 'number of participents did activities in three decades in different events' lacks proper prepositional phrasing and verb control. Complex sentences are attempted, such as 'Although in the commence table tennis trend did not rise rapidly...', but they are frequently faulty and laden with errors, causing difficulty for the reader.
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