Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-28
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The line graph illustrate that number of people take participants for many activities at one social center in Melbroune, Austalia from 2010 until 2020. This graph also shows the information about five different activities.
Overall, the highest number of participant in all five activites is in film club and there is a sector which called martial arts which have second highest people. If we take musical performance so people donot take interest in that field.
Firstly, in 2000 there was a 65 people are taking participant in film club and until 2020 the participants are same. There is a highest increase in amateur dramatics in 2010 to 2020 from 20 people to almost 60 people.
In 2000 there is a 17 participant are in table tennis and then there is a decrease in 2010 until 2020 from 20 to 5 participants. There is a activity musical performance which is rise in 2005 from 0 to almost 20 in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5
The response attempts to cover the main features of the chart, providing an overview and mentioning several categories such as the film club, martial arts, amateur dramatics, table tennis, and musical performances. However, there are significant data inaccuracies throughout the text. For instance, the student states that amateur dramatics experienced a huge increase from 20 to 60 people between 2010 and 2020, whereas the chart clearly shows a sharp decline from 20 down to 6. Similarly, the description of table tennis contains contradictory and incorrect numbers. Furthermore, the time period is misstated as starting in 2010 instead of 2000 in the opening sentence. Because of these factual misrepresentations of the visual data, the task achievement is limited.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The text is organized into brief paragraphs with some basic transitional devices such as 'Overall', 'Firstly', and 'In 2000'. However, the logical progression is frequently disrupted by inaccurate data reporting and awkward referencing, such as 'there is a sector which called martial arts which have second highest people'. Paragraphing is attempted, but the grouping of ideas lacks clear structure, as sentences jump randomly between different years and activities without a smooth narrative flow. Cohesive devices are repetitive and sometimes mechanically applied, resulting in a somewhat disjointed reading experience.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.5
The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, relying heavily on simple terms like 'number', 'people', 'activities', and 'increase'. There are noticeable word choice and collocation errors, such as 'take participants' instead of 'participate' or 'number of participants', and spelling errors like 'Melbroune' and 'Austalia'. Less common vocabulary is attempted with limited success, and inaccurate phrasing frequently strains the reader's understanding. The lexical range is minimally adequate for the task, but lacks the precision required for higher bands.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but control is weak, leading to frequent grammatical errors. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('The line graph illustrate', 'number of people take participants', 'there is a 65 people are taking'), tense inconsistencies, and awkward phrasing ('If we take musical performance so people donot take interest'). Punctuation is basic, and many complex constructions are faulty. These frequent errors cause difficulty for the reader and significantly detract from the clarity of the writing.
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