Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-29
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The supplied line graph illustrates the knowledge about various participants for five avtivities at social centre in melbourne, Australia between 2000 to 2020.
Overall, the musical performance had no involvement in start of 2000, also at the end of 2020, few participants take part of this activity. In contrast, film club gain high attraction by the individuals also its proportion remains same at the last 2020.
Firstly, the table tennis falls 16 participants in 2000, also its growth rapidly grew up in 2010, also in 2020, its participants ratio falls 55. In contrast, musical performance gain no participants in start of 2000, also its growth sart in 2005, with few number and at the end 2020, its growth falls 20 members.
Secondly, the amateur arts growth falls in 2000, with 25 participants also this ratio showed downword trend with consistantly also in 2020, its growth falls alsm
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5
The response fails to meet the minimum word length requirement, finishing at 147 words, which incurs a penalty. Furthermore, the text cuts off mid-sentence at the end ('its growth falls alsm'). While the student attempts an overview and reports some main features (such as table tennis and musical performances), the data is frequently inaccurate or misread (e.g., stating table tennis fell to 55 in 2020 when it rose to around 54, and claiming musical performances fell to 20 members at the end). The selection of data lacks clarity and thoroughness, leading to a partial and under-developed response.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0
The response has a basic structure, including an introduction and an attempt at an overview. However, paragraphing is poorly handled, and the text ends abruptly in the middle of a sentence due to the incomplete conclusion. Cohesive devices are used mechanically and repetitively, such as the frequent, inappropriate use of 'also' to link clauses ('also in 2020', 'also its growth'). Logical progression is hindered by these structural flaws and abrupt cut-offs, resulting in a disjointed flow.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.5
The vocabulary used is very limited and repetitive. The student relies heavily on basic terms like 'growth', 'participants', and 'falls' throughout the response. There are noticeable word choice and collocation errors, such as 'illustrates the knowledge about', 'avtivities', and 'gain high attraction'. Spelling and typographical errors are also present ('sart', 'downword', 'consistantly', 'alsm'). These lexical inadequacies restrict the response to a basic level.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0
The grammatical range is extremely limited, consisting mostly of simple and attempted complex sentences that contain frequent errors. Sentences often lack proper structure or contain confusing syntax, such as 'the table tennis falls 16 participants in 2000' and 'the amateur arts growth falls in 2000, with 25 participants also this ratio showed downword trend'. Punctuation and sentence boundaries are poorly managed, culminating in an incomplete sentence fragment at the very end.
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