Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-29

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

 

 

Student answer (Band 4.0)

This graph below show the number of participants in activity on social centre in melbourne, from 2000 to 2020.

Overall, this is a line graph. Thet can be clearly seen the most high line is Film club and most lesh is Musical performances who just start in 2005. Also the Martial arts,Amateur dramatics and Musical Performances is very similer withe each other.

In the starting of year 2000 thir can be only four activitys are thier Film club,Amateur dramatics and Table tennis. The Film club is highest from strating almost 60-65 % and thet can be conseted from year 2020. Also similerly The Amateur dramatics is very minore changes seen in graph.

But theris lots of chenges and tarns seen in Amateur dramatics and Table tennis in the year 2010 both line colaide and ivencualy Tabale tennis grow very highly and other hand the Amateur dramatics is to dwon. In the year 2005 the new activity araives called Musical performances and ivencualy Thet can be highly groth in strating phase.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response addresses the task by reporting on several key features of the graph, such as the dominance of the Film club and the growth of Table tennis. However, the student's overview is weak and confused ('Thet can be clearly seen the most high line is Film club...'). Furthermore, there are several inaccurate descriptions of the data, such as claiming that 'Amateur dramatics and Musical Performances is very similer withe each other' (they are quite distinct) and misinterpreting the starting values. While some trends are identified, the overall data selection and reporting lack precision and sufficient extension, placing this response at Band 4.5.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The essay is divided into paragraphs, but the organization and progression are severely hindered by poor cohesion and referencing. Phrases like 'In the starting of year 2000 thir can be only four activitys...' and 'But theris lots of chenges and tarns...' create disjointed and difficult transitions. The referencing is frequently unclear, making it hard to follow which data points are being contrasted. Paragraphing is attempted, but internal logical flow is disrupted by repetitive structures and abrupt shifts between ideas, meeting the requirements of Band 4.0.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.0

Vocabulary is basic and severely limited, with frequent spelling and word-choice errors that strain the reader ('conseted', 'minore changes', 'tarns', 'colaide', 'ivencualy', 'dwon', 'araives'). The student attempts some topic-specific vocabulary like 'participants' and 'activity', but the overall range is inadequate for an academic task, leading to numerous non-standard phrases such as 'most high line' and 'highly groth'. These lexical inaccuracies frequently impede communication, resulting in a Band 4.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

Grammatical control is very weak. The response contains a very limited range of structures, and almost every sentence contains major errors in basic grammar, subject-verb agreement, and punctuation (e.g., 'This graph below show...', 'thir can be only four activitys are thier', 'both line colaide'). Complex sentence attempts are heavily flawed and lead to distorted meanings. Frequent errors cause substantial difficulty for the reader, which aligns with the descriptor for Band 4.0.

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