Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-29
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The Graph shows a comparison of the different activities at a social centre in Melbourne,Australia from 2000 to 2020.
Overall, total five number of participants are included in which Film Club and Martial arts ggroups shows a contsant number of activities,where,Table tennis group activitiesincreased gradually and increasing in the number of activities of the Musical Performances has been observed and a decline in the the Amateue dramatics geoup.
Total five different groups are under observation from 2000 to 2020.in which Table tennis group has the highest rate of activities after remaining contstant for the initial 15 years till 2010. There is a constant perfornmance of the activities throuout the 20 years has been observed for the Film club and Martial arts. A decline in the perfornmance of activities from 2005 to 2020 of Amateur dramatics club. a Sharp increase observed in the Musical performances in 2010.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5
The response attempts to cover the main trends in the graph, noting the general patterns for the different activities, such as the rise in table tennis and the decline in amateur dramatics. However, there are significant inaccuracies in reporting the data. For instance, the student states that table tennis remained constant for the initial 15 years until 2010, whereas the chart shows it started low in 2000 and rose steadily, particularly after 2010. Furthermore, musical performances are stated to have a sharp increase in 2010, but the data indicates they started at zero in 2000 and 2005. Additionally, the word count is 146 words, narrowly missing the 150-word minimum requirement. Consequently, task achievement is limited by these data misinterpretations and the length penalty.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The response attempts to organise information into an introduction and two body paragraphs, including an overview in the second paragraph. However, the logical progression is frequently disrupted by poor sentence construction and mechanical cohesion. Phrases like 'where, Table tennis group activitiesincreased gradually' demonstrate inadequate control of cohesive devices. Paragraphing is present, but internal cohesion is weak, making it difficult to follow the relationships between ideas clearly. Referencing is also occasionally unclear.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.5
The vocabulary used is generally basic and repetitive, with several spelling errors such as 'ggroups', 'contsant', 'Amateue', 'geoup', and 'perfornmance'. The writer attempts some topic-related vocabulary like 'participants', 'activities', and 'decline', but the range is limited and inadequate for precision. Word choices are sometimes unnatural or misused, such as referring to the categories as a 'number of activities' rather than participant numbers. These errors cause some difficulty for the reader.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The text displays a very limited range of grammatical structures, and attempts at more complex sentences result in frequent errors. There are numerous punctuation and capitalization mistakes, and sentence boundaries are poorly managed, as seen in run-on sentences like 'Overall, total five number of participants are included in which Film Club and Martial arts ggroups shows a contsant number of activities,where,Table tennis group activitiesincreased gradually...'. Subject-verb agreement errors are also prevalent, such as 'groups shows'. These frequent errors impede communication at times.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.