Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-29
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.0)
The line graph gives information about the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne Australia, from the period 2000 to 2020.
Overall, there are five stages of lines, which are Film club, Martial arts, Amateur dramatics, Table tennis and Musical performances. The film club is higher to over then's while the Musical performances on 0 numbers. However, the Amateur dramatics is on the canter.
In 2000, the film club has participated on 64 and decreased in 2010 after the time it increased in 2020. The martial arts is in the middle of the graph on 38, after the period increased in 2010 and reached in 2020.
The Musical performance did not participate in 2000 to 2005, while it rapidly grow and stood at 2020. The table tennis participants on 18 in 2000, after the time it goes stately at 2010 and rapidly increased at 2015 to 2020.The Amateur dramatics participants at 28 in 2000 and decreased 2010 to 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5
The student attempts to address the task by reporting on several categories from the line graph, such as the Film club, Martial arts, Amateur dramatics, Table tennis, and Musical performances. However, the response falls short of fully and accurately presenting the main trends and comparisons. There are numerous inaccuracies in reading the data, for example stating that Musical performances started at 0 numbers and then confusedly describing values. Furthermore, the overview attempted in the second paragraph is confusing and lacks clarity regarding the overall trends over the 20-year period. While some individual data points are mentioned, the lack of a cohesive overview and inaccurate reporting of key features restricts the achievement level.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0
The response is broken into short, fragmented paragraphs that do not logically group information. Cohesive devices are either missing or misused, leading to a disjointed flow. For instance, transitions like 'after the time' and 'while it rapidly grow' are unnatural and create confusion rather than logical progression. Referencing between sentences is often unclear, such as abrupt shifts between subjects without appropriate pronouns or conjunctions. The overall arrangement lacks a clear structural progression from an introduction to an overview and detailed body paragraphs, making the text difficult to follow.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.0
The vocabulary used is very basic and repetitive. The student relies on elementary words and phrases like 'numbers of participants', 'increased', and 'decreased'. There are also frequent word-formation and collocation errors, such as 'the film club is higher to over then's', 'Musical performances on 0 numbers', and 'goes stately at 2010'. These lexical inadequacies and awkward expressions significantly impede communication and reveal a limited range that is barely adequate for the task.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0
Grammatical control is weak throughout the response. The writer attempts mostly simple sentences, and attempts at more complex structures frequently result in severe errors, such as 'the film club has participated on 64 and decreased' and 'The table tennis participants on 18 in 2000'. Tense usage is inconsistent and often inappropriate for describing historical chart data, mixing present and past forms incorrectly. Punctuation and verb-subject agreement errors are persistent and frequently cause difficulty for the reader.
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