Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-29
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The given graph illustrates information on the number of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia from the period of [redacted phone].
By overview of graph we can know that enrollment rate of film club peaked every year and maintained remained stable till 2020 enrollment rate for musical performances grew bit by bit every year
however table tennis saw impressive rate in enrollment after 2010 because enrollment rate for participants doubled after 5 years followed by martial artists which maintained stable enrollment rate for all years but we can see enrollment rate of amateur dramatics declined rapidly every year.
In 2 decades enrollment rate peaked and remained stable with 60-65 particpating every year similarly Martial arts which also remained stable all this years around with 30-35 participating every year
while table tennis which has lesser enrollment around 15 saw a major urge in enrollment after 2010 which rose to 30-235 participants in 25 and reached peaked in 2020 with 55 participants and music participants 0 in 2005 and 15 highest in 2020 however there was decline in amateur dramatics after 2010 from 15 participants to )less than 10 in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The student attempts to cover the main features of the line graph, noting the highest participation for the film club and the significant rise in table tennis. However, the response suffers from serious structural issues, run-on sentences, and imprecise data reporting. For instance, the student states that the film club 'peaked every year' and writes confusing numerical figures such as '30-235 participants in 25'. While the general trends of the activities are acknowledged, the lack of accurate data interpretation and the messy phrasing prevent the response from achieving a higher band. It partially addresses the task requirements, aligning best with a Band 5.0.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0
The text lacks proper paragraphing and organization, making it extremely difficult to follow the flow of information. The student groups sentences into one giant block or poorly demarcated sections with run-on sentences lacking punctuation. Cohesive devices are either missing or misused, with repetitive transitions such as 'enrollment rate' appearing constantly without clear referencing. There is no clear overall progression of ideas, as data points from different years are mixed haphazardly. This meets the criteria for Band 4.0, where information is not arranged coherently and paragraphing is inadequate.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is basic and highly repetitive, with the phrase 'enrollment rate' repeated multiple times throughout the text. There are also frequent lexical errors and odd word choices, such as 'major urge' instead of 'surge', and typographical or numerical errors like '25' instead of '2015' and ')less than' with stray punctuation. While the student attempts some topic-related vocabulary like 'participants' and 'activities', the lack of precision and severe repetitiveness restrict the lexical score to a Band 4.5, rounded to 5.0 based on the basic adequacy of communicative intent.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0
Grammatical control is weak throughout the response. The text consists largely of prolonged, run-on sentences connected by conjunctions without adequate punctuation or full stops (e.g., beginning sentences with lowercase letters and stringing clauses together). There are noticeable grammatical inaccuracies, missing prepositions, and awkward clause structures. Complex sentence forms are attempted but are consistently faulty, leading to frequent errors that place strain on the reader. This corresponds to a Band 4.0, reflecting a very limited range of structures and frequent grammatical errors.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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