Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-30
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.0)
This line graph illustrates number of participants for their various tasks at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia over a twenty year period between 2000 and 2020.
Regarding number of participants in Film club shows moderate development in its performance and substantial rise constituted of 65% in the year 2000. While with the variation ievel in upcoming years, its activity increased approximately 69% and its working capacity is highest than other different group activities.Martial arts was one of the painting section where historical arts and intellectual paintings group activities comprised of 36%. Whereas Amateur dramatics exhibit rise and falls in its participants and its fluctuation rate started to falls fron 2005 about 25%.Therefore amateur dramatics.meanwhile,its rate decreased account for 5% which indicate no economic growth.However,table tennis one of the interesting sport in which more individuals participate but its steadily rose in 2000 about 18% and then its ratio stayed plateaued until 2010.Thus its started to decrease from 15% to 5% in 2020 due to less demand od players and audience.In addition,musical performances represent slight expand in 2005 from 10% and number of performances remained stable at specific interval of time
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0
The student attempts to address the prompt by discussing the provided line graph regarding participation rates at a social centre in Melbourne. However, the task achievement is significantly undermined by severe misinterpretation of the data and irrelevant information. For example, the writer describes Martial arts as a 'painting section where historical arts and intellectual paintings group activities comprised of 36%,' which has no basis in the visual data. Similarly, the use of percentage figures to describe absolute numbers of participants (e.g., '65%', '18%') leads to confusion. While the writer mentions several of the categories like the Film club and Table tennis, the response lacks a clear, coherent overview and contains inaccurate reporting of trends, resulting in a band score of 4.0.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0
The text suffers from a lack of logical organisation and clear progression. The response is presented in a single, block paragraph or disjointed sentences that do not flow logically. Cohesive devices are either misused or absent, and referencing is frequently unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the progression of ideas. For instance, transitional phrases are awkward or abrupt, as seen in sentences like 'Therefore amateur dramatics.meanwhile,its rate decreased account for 5% which indicate no economic growth.' Paragraphing is not utilised to separate different categories or trends, further hindering readability. Cohesion is faulty and mechanical, leading to a band score of 4.0.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.0
The vocabulary used is very limited and often inappropriate for an academic task. The student attempts some less common vocabulary, but these attempts result in severe word-choice and collocation errors, such as 'working capacity,' 'painting section,' and 'economic growth' in the context of leisure activity participation. There are also noticeable issues with word forms and misuse of statistical terms (confusing absolute participant numbers with percentages). While basic terms like 'increase' and 'decrease' appear, the frequent lexical inaccuracies and strain on the reader place this response firmly in the band 4 range.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0
The grammatical range is very limited, consisting predominantly of simple structures and poorly constructed complex sentences. There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the response, including missing articles, incorrect prepositions, tense inconsistencies, and subject-verb agreement issues (e.g., 'its started to decrease,' 'number of participants... shows,' 'its activity increased... and its working capacity is highest'). Punctuation is also problematic, with missing spaces and run-on sentences. These frequent errors cause strain for the reader and significantly restrict the grammatical score to a 4.0.
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