Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-30
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
This line graph illustrates the number of participants in their various activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia over a twenty year-period between 2000 and 2020. Regarding the number of participants in Film club shows moderate development in its performance and substantial rise, reaching 65% in the year 2000. While with the variation level in the upcoming years, its activity increased approximately 69 and its working capacity was highest than in the other different group activities. Martial arts was one of the painting sections where historical arts and intellectual paintings group activities comprised of 36%. Whereas amateur dramatics exhibit rises and falls in its participants and its fluctuation rate started to fall from 2005 about 25%. Therefore amateur dramatics, Meanwhile, its rate decreased for 5% which indicates no economic growth. However, table tennis one of the interesting sports in which more individuals participate but its steadily rose in 2000 about 18% and then its ratio stayed plateaued until 2010.Thus its started to decrease in 2010, from 15% to 5% in 2020 due to less demand od players and audience. In addition, musical performances represent slight expansion in 2005 from 10% and the number of performances remained stable at a specific interval of time
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5
The student attempts to address the prompt by describing trends in the provided line graph regarding participation rates at a social centre in Melbourne. However, the response falls short in accurately reporting data and identifying main features. There are significant misreadings of the data; for example, the student states that the Film club reached '65%' and '69' in 2000, and describes amateur dramatics and table tennis using inaccurate percentages and reverse trends (stating table tennis decreased from 15% to 5% when the graph shows it rising from 16 to 54). The data points are frequently confused with percentages, and the overview lacks a clear summary of the overall trends. Consequently, the task is only partially addressed.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0
The response suffers from a lack of clear logical organisation and progression. The text is presented in a single dense block without appropriate paragraphing. Cohesive devices are either misused or absent, resulting in confusing transitions between sentences (e.g., 'Regarding the number of participants in Film club shows...' and 'Therefore amateur dramatics, Meanwhile, its rate decreased...'). Reference words and logical connectors frequently fail to link ideas clearly, making it difficult for the reader to follow the progression of information across the different categories.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.5
The lexical range is limited and frequently inaccurate. The student attempts to use less common vocabulary such as 'development', 'substantial rise', 'variation level', and 'fluctuation rate', but these are often used in unnatural collocations or inappropriate contexts (e.g., referring to activities as 'painting sections' and mentioning 'economic growth' in the context of a social club graph). Furthermore, the frequent misuse of percentage symbols and incorrect units distorts the meaning. Spelling is generally acceptable, but word choice is a major barrier to clear communication.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0
The grammatical range is extremely limited, consisting mostly of faulty complex structures or poorly constructed simple sentences. There are frequent grammatical errors that impede comprehension, such as missing verbs or ungrammatical clauses ('Regarding the number of participants in Film club shows moderate development', 'table tennis one of the interesting sports in which more individuals participate but its steadily rose', and 'Thus its started to decrease'). Punctuation is also weak, with run-on sentences and incorrect use of conjunctions and transitional phrases.
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