Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-30
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
This line graph illustrates the number of participants in their various activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia over a twenty year-period between 2000 and 2020. Regarding the number of participants in Film club shows moderate development in its performance and substantial rise, reaching 65% in the year 2000. While the variation level in the upcoming years, its activity increased approximately 69 and its working capacity was highest than in the other different group activities. Martial arts was one of the painting sections where historical arts and intellectual paintings group activities comprised of 36%. Whereas amateur dramatics exhibit rises and falls in its participants and its fluctuation rate started to fall from 2005 about 25%. Therefore, amateur dramatics, Meanwhile, its rate decreased for 5% which indicates no economic growth. However, table tennis was one of the interesting sports in which more individuals participate but its steadily rose in 2000 by about 18% and then its ratio stayed plateaued until 2010. Thus, its started to decrease in 2010, from 15% to 5% in 2020 due to less demand of players and audience. In addition, musical performances represent slight expansion in 2005 from 10%, and the number of performances remained stable at a specific interval of time
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5
The response attempts to cover the main features of the line graph, mentioning several activities such as the Film club, Martial arts, amateur dramatics, table tennis, and musical performances. However, the interpretation of the data contains numerous inaccuracies and confusion regarding the values and trends. For instance, the student states that the Film club reached 65% in 2000 and increased to approximately 69, mixing up absolute numbers with percentages and misreading the scale. Furthermore, descriptions of trends for table tennis are contradictory, stating it rose steadily in 2000 but then later claiming it decreased from 15% to 5% in 2020 (when it actually rose to around 54). The lack of a clear, coherent overview and the presence of flawed data reporting pull the score down to this level.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5
The response suffers from significant organizational and cohesive issues. The text is presented as a single dense block without paragraph breaks, making it difficult to follow the progression of ideas. Cohesive devices are either misused or absent, resulting in awkward and confusing transitions, such as starting sentences with 'Regarding the number of participants in Film club shows...' or 'Therefore, amateur dramatics, Meanwhile, its rate decreased...'. Referencing is frequently unclear, and the overall progression lacks logical structure, which severely impedes readability.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.0
The vocabulary used is largely inappropriate for an academic task, often relying on bizarre collocations and misused economic terms, such as 'working capacity', 'economic growth', 'painting sections', and 'ratio stayed plateaued'. While the student attempts a few less common words like 'substantial' and 'fluctuation', these are overshadowed by frequent word-choice errors and a misunderstanding of statistical terms (consistently using percentages '%' instead of absolute participant numbers). The limited effective range and frequent lexical inaccuracies constrain the score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
Grammatical control is weak throughout the response. The text contains numerous ungrammatical sentence structures, missing main verbs, and faulty relative clauses, such as 'Regarding the number of participants in Film club shows moderate development' and 'Martial arts was one of the painting sections where historical arts and intellectual paintings group activities comprised of 36%.' Punctuation is also poorly handled, and run-on or incomplete sentences are common. The range of structures is limited, and frequent errors regularly cause confusion for the reader.
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