Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-30

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

 

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

This line graph illustrates the number of participants in their various activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia over a twenty year-period between 2000 and 2020. The number of participants in Film club shows moderate development in its performance and substantial rise, reaching 65% in the year 2000. While the variation level in the upcoming years, its activity increased approximately to 69 and its working capacity was higher than in the other group activities. Martial arts was one of the painting sections where historical arts and intellectual paintings group activities comprised of 36%. Whereas amateur dramatics exhibit rises and falls in its participants and its fluctuation rate started to fall from about 25% in 2010. Therefore, Meanwhile, amateur dramatics rate decreased by 5% which indicates no economic growth. However, table tennis was one of the interesting sports in which more individuals participated, but it steadily rose in 2000 by about 18% and then its proportion stayed stable until 2010. Thus, it started to decrease in 2010, from 15% to 5% in 2020 due to lower demand of players and audience. In addition, musical performances represented a slight expansion in 2005, from 10% and the number of performances remained stable at a specific interval of time.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The student attempts to describe the line graph showing participants in different activities between 2000 and 2020. However, the response falls short of fully satisfying the requirements of Task Achievement due to severe misinterpretation of the data and the axes. The student frequently confuses percentages with absolute numbers of participants, referring to '65%' and '36%', whereas the graph measures 'Number of participants' up to 70. Furthermore, the description of specific trends is often factually incorrect according to the visual data; for instance, stating that table tennis started at 18% in 2000 and decreased to 5% in 2020, whereas the data shows it rose significantly from 16 to 54. While all categories are mentioned, the confused data reporting prevents clear comprehension of the main features.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The essay is presented as a single dense paragraph, lacking clear paragraphing to structure the information logically (such as grouping rising trends versus falling trends). Cohesive devices are occasionally used inappropriately or mechanically, such as 'Therefore, Meanwhile, amateur dramatics rate decreased...', which creates confusing transitions. Although some basic chronological sequencing is attempted, the overall organizational structure lacks clear progression and the referencing between ideas is frequently unclear or contradictory.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is generally basic and sometimes bizarrely inappropriate for the context, stemming from a fundamental misunderstanding of the chart's content (e.g., describing martial arts as a 'painting section where historical arts and intellectual paintings group activities comprised of 36%'). There are frequent lexical inaccuracies, odd collocations, and misuse of statistical terms like percentages. While some attempts are made to use descriptive terms like 'moderate development', 'substantial rise', and 'fluctuation rate', the pervasive misuse of vocabulary heavily restricts communication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but control over grammar is weak. There are frequent grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that impede understanding, such as 'While the variation level in the upcoming years, its activity increased approximately to 69...' and 'musical performances represented a slight expansion in 2005, from 10%...'. Punctuation and clause construction are often faulty, leaving several sentences ungrammatical or incomplete in thought.

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