Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-30

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

 

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The chart illustrates the information on the counts of attendees for different activities at social centre in some countries. listed Melbourne, Australia between the session 2000 to 2020.

Overall, film club and table tennis experienced the largest number of participants while amature dramatics have decrement in thier individuals. However, matrial arts are fluctuated and musical performance lauched in 2005 and have increment in hole period between 2005 to 2020.

Firstly, film club is fluctuated in the all period but got almost 65% attendees and got first while matrial arts also fluctuated in whole period but laser in diffrence of film club almost got 38 percent citizens.

Finally, amateur dramatics was descreses the amount of participants 20% between 2000 to 2010 but got huge increment and stops on almost 60% between 2010 to 2020. However, musical performance and tab

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response attempts to summarise the main features of the chart, correctly identifying activities such as the film club and table tennis. However, there are significant factual inaccuracies in the data reporting. For instance, the student states that amateur dramatics grew to nearly 60% between 2010 and 2020, whereas the chart shows a decline from 20 to 6 participants. Furthermore, the response is incomplete, cutting off mid-sentence at the end, and fails to meet the minimum word length requirement of 150 words, standing at 138 words. Because of these omissions, inaccuracies, and under-length status, the task is only partially addressed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The essay attempts a basic structure with an introduction and some body paragraphs, but the overall organisation is heavily impaired by abrupt cut-offs and poor paragraphing. Cohesive devices are used awkwardly or inaccurately, such as repetitive transitions like 'Firstly' and 'Finally' which do not logically sequence the data presented. Referencing is also confusing, and the progression of ideas breaks down completely by the final incomplete sentence. Paragraphing is insufficient to guide the reader through the data logically.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is very basic and often inaccurate or strained. Examples such as 'amature dramatics have decrement in thier individuals', 'matrial arts are fluctuated', and 'lauched' demonstrate frequent spelling and word-choice errors. The student attempts some less common vocabulary related to data trends, but these attempts are marred by poor collocation and non-standard phrasing, such as using percentage signs incorrectly for raw numbers of participants. Lexical limitations noticeably hinder effective communication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

The response displays a very limited range of sentence structures, relying on simple or poorly formed complex sentences. Grammatical errors are frequent throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues ('film club is fluctuated', 'martial arts are fluctuated'), tense inconsistencies, and missing articles. The punctuation and sentence boundaries are flawed, culminating in an incomplete sentence at the end of the text ('However, musical performance and tab'). These persistent errors cause significant difficulty for the reader.

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