Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-30

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

 

 

Student answer (Band 4.0)

The line graph illustrated the information number of students participation for six different activities at one soical center in Melbourne, Australia btween 2000 to 2020.

Overll, it can be clearly seen that flim club was the highest percentage thought out the period, While material arts some fluctuated but remain unchanged at the end of the given year.In contrary amateur dramatic declined experience and music performance slightly increase at the end of the period.

In 2000, flim clubs was the largest proportion approximately 65 percent in Australia social center.Next two year flim clubs participation had decline 63 to 65 percent respectively.In 2005, flim clubs students activities increase and same starting point.

In 2000, music performance had no activity but in 2005 start with 1 percent and slightly increase 10% to 15% respectively 2101 to 2020.

In 2002, Amaster Dramatic was thirs one in six different activities at social center in Melbourne.This was the onmy category was decreased throughout the given period.

Table tennis, accounted for 15 percent in 2002 and slightly rose 20%in 2005 and remain same next decade than huge pump 43 percent and 50% teo years ehicj was yhe second highest percentage in student activities Melbourne Australia.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The student attempts to report the main features and trends of the line graph, mentioning categories such as the film club, musical performances, amateur dramatics, and table tennis. However, the response falls short of fully satisfying the criteria due to numerous inaccurate figures and misinterpretations of the data. For example, the student states that in 2000 musical performance had no activity, which is correct, but later makes confusing and incorrect assertions about percentages and figures (e.g., claiming the film club was '65 percent' or referring to years like '2101' and '2002'). While an overview is attempted ('Overll, it can be clearly seen that...'), the lack of data accuracy and confusing descriptions limit the task response to a Band 4.0.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response is divided into short paragraphs, but the logical progression and overall arrangement are severely hindered by poor cohesion and fragmented sentences. Transitional devices are either missing or misused (e.g., 'In contrary amateur dramatic declined', 'Next two year flim clubs participation...'). Reference words are frequently unclear, and the mechanical repetition of sentence structures makes the text difficult to follow. Paragraphing is attempted, but individual paragraphs lack internal unity and coherence. This level of organisation aligns with Band 4.0 descriptors.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.0

The vocabulary used is very basic, repetitive, and heavily constrained. There are numerous spelling errors throughout the text, such as 'illustrated' (written as 'illustrated' but with poor context, or words like 'soical', 'btween', 'Overll', 'flim', 'material', 'in contrary', 'Amaster', 'onmy', 'pump', 'ehicj', 'yhe'). The student attempts to use less common items like 'proportion' and 'fluctuated', but word choices and collocations are frequently inaccurate or inappropriate (e.g., 'huge pump 43 percent'). The density of errors strains the reader's understanding, placing this aspect at Band 4.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

The grammatical range is very limited, consisting mostly of simple and attempted complex sentences that contain frequent and severe errors. Examples include missing articles, incorrect verb tenses, and distorted word order (e.g., 'The line graph illustrated the information number of students participation...', 'flim clubs students activities increase and same starting point'). Punctuation and sentence boundaries are often mishandled, leading to run-on structures or fragments. These frequent errors cause considerable difficulty for the reader and reflect a Band 4.0 performance.

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