Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-01
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The line graph illustrates the proportion of participating of various activites at one social center in australia melbourn between 2000 to 2020.
Overall,Film club is the highest number of participatis throughout this period. in contrast table tanis are dramatically increased .while amateur dramatics is the least proportion an the figure.
In 2000,Film club accounted for around 64% are slightly increased in 2020 to almost 68%.campare to table tanis ramain flactuate in 2000 to 38% in 2020 above the 50%.meanwhile amateur dramatic are signaficantkly increase 28% to almot 55%.
table tanis in 2000 arount 16 are r\gradually increase to 26%.and musical performance in 2005 to zero after that they were slightly increase to under 20%
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0
The response fails to meet the minimum length requirement of 150 words, stopping at only 114 words. While the writer attempts to present an overview and mention several activities, the information reported is largely inaccurate and confused. For example, the student states that the Film club accounted for 64% in 2000, misinterpreting the absolute numbers on the y-axis as percentages. Furthermore, the description of trends contains major contradictions, such as claiming that amateur dramatics increased significantly from 28% to 55% when the graph shows a decline from 26 down to 6. Overall, the task is addressed only minimally due to the insufficient length, data misreadings, and lack of a coherent summary.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The text demonstrates some basic organization with an introductory sentence, body points, and an overall statement, but there is no clear logical progression. Paragraphing is disjointed, and sentences are often clumped together with missing spaces or awkward breaks. Cohesive devices are minimal, inadequate, and frequently inaccurate, leading to mechanical and repetitive links between ideas. Referencing is also unclear, making it difficult to follow which data points correspond to which activities. To improve, the writer needs to group related data logically into clear paragraphs and use appropriate transition signals to guide the reader smoothly through the comparative trends.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, with frequent word choice and spelling errors that strain the reader's understanding. The student relies on limited terms and misspells key words repeatedly, such as writing "activites" instead of activities, "center" instead of centre, "tanis" instead of tennis, and "signaficantkly" instead of significantly. There is also an inappropriate use of percentage signs throughout the text when describing numerical data. To reach a higher band, the writer must expand their lexical range to describe trends accurately and ensure correct spelling and word forms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The grammatical range is very limited, consisting mostly of simple or poorly constructed sentence attempts. There are frequent errors in verb forms, tense usage, and sentence structure, which often distort the meaning. Examples include "Film club is the highest number of participatis" and "table tanis ramain flactuate." Articles and prepositions are frequently missing or misused, and punctuation is largely neglected. The high frequency of basic grammatical errors causes noticeable difficulty for the reader and prevents the response from achieving a higher score in grammatical accuracy.
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