Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-01
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The line graph illustrates that the number of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.
Number of participants who participated in film club are flactuating ,people who participated in table tennis increased drastically in the year 2000 and there are very less people who participated in the musical performances wheras there was drastic decrease in paticipants who participated in amateur dramatics and people who participated in martial arts are increased from 2000 to 2020
Overall it is clear that number of people who participated in all the activities are increased from 2000 to 2020
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 3.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, stopping at only 104 words. Regarding content, the overview provided is inaccurate because not all activities increased over the period, as seen with amateur dramatics which dropped significantly. The reporting of main features is extremely limited, with data points rushed and partially inaccurate, such as the claim that table tennis increased drastically in the year 2000 when it actually rose later in the period. The response attempts to summarise the graph, but the lack of sufficient detail and the presence of factual inaccuracies restrict the score at this level.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5
The writing shows a rudimentary attempt at organisation, but the overall progression lacks clarity. The response is structured as a single massive run-on sentence for the body paragraph, followed by a brief concluding sentence, which demonstrates poor control over paragraphing. Cohesive devices are minimal and repetitive, relying heavily on basic coordinating conjunctions like 'and' or contrast markers like 'wheras' without proper punctuation. Reference links between sentences are weak, making it difficult for the reader to follow the logical development of ideas across the text.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, with noticeable errors in word choice and spelling that affect readability. For example, the student misspells 'fluctuating' as 'flactuating' and uses imprecise terms such as 'very less people' instead of 'fewer participants'. While there are attempts to use vocabulary related to trends, such as 'increased drastically' and 'decrease', the limited range and frequent spelling or word-form inaccuracies restrict the lexical score. To improve, the writer needs to incorporate a wider variety of precise reporting verbs and adjectives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The response displays a very limited range of grammatical structures, relying on simple or poorly connected clauses. There are frequent errors in basic grammar, including subject-verb agreement issues ('number of participants... are flactuating', 'people... are increased') and incorrect relative clauses ('people who participated in...'). Punctuation is largely neglected, resulting in run-on sentences that lack commas or full stops where necessary. These persistent errors impede communication and demonstrate weak control over basic sentence patterns.
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