Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

 

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The line graph illustrate that the number of participants involved in different activities at one social centre in Melbourne,Australia in 2000 to 2020

overall,the maximum number of player participated in the table tennis which increased,and the amateur dramatic fell down,while the film club player remains contant.

firslty,the amateur table tennis member in 2000 was about 15 and it rose till about 50 in 2020,similarly,the amateur dramatic student nearky 25 in 2000 and deviate reached in nearly 5 in 2020.Herafter,the film clum participants remain in same in 2000 to 2020 which is nearly 65.other than this the musical perfomances start from 2005 and reached 15 in 2020.

The martial arts player ramains same in 2000 and 2020 .The amteur dramatics and table tennis participants was intercepted in 2010 at 20 students.follwed

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response addresses the task only partially and fails to meet the minimum word count requirement, falling short by 20 words. While you attempt to provide an overview and mention several key activities from the line graph, the ideas remain limited and under-developed. For example, your overview is overly brief and contains inaccurate statements, such as claiming the maximum number of players participated in table tennis overall when film club actually maintained the highest numbers for most of the period. Furthermore, data selection is somewhat imprecise, with figures like "about 15" for table tennis in 2000 (which was actually 16) and "nearly 5" in 2020 (which was 54, a severe misreading of the trend). To improve towards a higher band, you must write at least 150 words, present a fully accurate overview without data contradictions, and clearly trace the key trends with correct figures.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is some basic organisation attempted through paragraphing, but the response lacks a clear overall progression. Your sentences feel disconnected and fragmentary, exacerbated by missing spaces, missing punctuation, and run-on structures. Cohesive devices are either missing, inadequate, or used inappropriately, such as using "firslty" and "Herafter" with severe mechanical errors. Paragraphing is disjointed, with stray sentences left floating at the very end of the text, like "follwed", which breaks any logical flow of information. To achieve a higher band, you need to group related ideas into coherent paragraphs, ensure smooth logical transitions between sentences, and use cohesive devices accurately to guide the reader through the data.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

Your vocabulary range is limited and minimally adequate for communicating basic data points. Throughout the text, there are noticeable errors in word choice, spelling, and word formation that occasionally cause difficulty for the reader. Examples include "contant" instead of constant, "clum" instead of club, "perfomances", and "amteur". You rely heavily on repetitive basic terms related to the graph, and your attempts at less common vocabulary are hindered by inaccuracies. To move to a higher band, you need to expand your range of vocabulary to describe trends and proportions more precisely, ensuring correct spelling and appropriate collocations throughout your writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You demonstrate a very limited range of grammatical structures, relying mostly on simple sentences with frequent errors that cause difficulty for the reader. There are widespread issues with basic verb forms, subject-verb agreement, and tense consistency, such as "The line graph illustrate", "the film club player remains contant", and "The martial arts player ramains same". Punctuation and capitalization are frequently neglected, and missing spaces between words further disrupt readability. When you attempt more complex structures, they are often faulty or incomplete. To progress to a higher band, you must improve your control over basic grammar rules, ensure accurate tense usage for past data, and incorporate a wider variety of error-free complex sentences.

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