Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-03
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The graph illustrate the propotion of the participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for different time period.
Film club demonstrate the maximum number of participants in several years. And musical perrformances demonstate the least common pecentage of the participants in this time period.
Musical performances is the least common reason in one social centre activities at Melbourne. In 2005 musical performances start from 0 and ending with their gradual increase in 2020, approximately 12 percent. The second number is table tennis avtivity in Australia. Table tennis start 2000 approximately 18% and gradually increase ending with their maximum increase approximately 4%. Third one activity is Amatuer dramatics in Melbourne Australia, start from approximately 28% and ending 50%. And next one activity at one social centre in Melbourne Australia is Martial arts. Start from approximately 38% and shown their staedy ratio and ending approximately 38%. Last one activity is Film club start from approximately 65% and the maximum number of participants activity. Film club shoen their gradual increases and ending with approximately 66%.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0
The response attempts to describe the graph, but it only responds to the task minimally. Several data points reported in the text are inaccurate or contradict the visual data. For example, the student states that musical performances started at 0 and ended at approximately 12 percent, whereas the graph shows it ended at approximately 18. Similarly, Amateur dramatics is described as ending at 50 percent, when the graph shows a drop to approximately 6 percent. Furthermore, the student repeatedly uses percentage signs incorrectly for raw numbers of participants. An overview is largely absent, and the key features of the trends are not clearly or accurately highlighted, restricting the response to a low level.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0
Information and ideas are not arranged coherently, and the progression is difficult to follow. The response relies on very short, fragmented paragraphs, with single sentences standing alone without clear logical links. Cohesive devices are minimal or misused, such as starting consecutive sentences with repetitive phrasing like 'Start from' or 'Table tennis start 2000'. Referencing between sentences is often unclear, meaning the reader struggles to follow how the different activities are being compared or sequenced across the 20-year period.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, showing a limited range that struggles with precision. There are numerous word choice and form errors, such as 'propotion' instead of proportion, 'perrformances' instead of performances, and 'avtivity' instead of activity. The student also confuses percentages with absolute numbers of participants ('approximately 18%', 'approximately 4%'). While some common topic vocabulary like 'participants', 'social centre', and 'activities' is present, the frequent errors and restricted variety limit the effectiveness of the communication.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The grammatical range is very limited, consisting mostly of simple sentence structures with frequent errors. There are persistent issues with subject-verb agreement, such as 'The graph illustrate' instead of illustrates, and 'Film club demonstrate' instead of demonstrates. Tenses are inconsistently applied when describing past data, and articles are frequently missing ('start from 2000', 'at one social centre'). Prepositional usage and incomplete clause structures are common, with sentences frequently lacking main verbs (e.g., 'Third one activity is... start from...'). These frequent errors can cause some difficulty and strain for the reader.
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