Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-03
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The Provided representation depicts the data of participants were involved in numerous activities at one place in Melbourne. these activities were held for two decades.
Overall, it shows the total number of individuals participated in various kind of activities in different years at a community center. There were 5 type of activites and majority of participants are in film club.
Firstly, in 2000 more than 60 participants involved in film club and less than 20 participated in table tennis. In 2005 few participated in musical performances and in 2010 there were more than 10 participants are listed. the table tannis participants were rapidly increase in a decade. But the amateur dramatics was most disliked actitiv
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5
The response meets the minimum word count requirement of 150 words by a significant margin, containing only 115 words. Consequently, the task is addressed only partially, as key trends and comparisons from the graph are underdeveloped or omitted. While there is a basic attempt to summarise the information—noting that the film club had the most participants and mentioning table tennis and amateur dramatics—the overview is very brief and incomplete. Several figures are only vaguely stated, such as 'more than 60 participants', without providing a comprehensive picture of the data across the 20-year period. To improve, you must write at least 150 words and ensure that all main features and prominent trends of the visual data are fully reported and compared.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5
The response shows some basic organisation, attempting to separate the introduction, overview, and body details into paragraphs. However, the information and ideas are not arranged in a fully coherent manner. Paragraphing is weak, and sentences are often disjointed without adequate logical progression. Cohesive devices are minimal, repetitive, or inaccurate, leading to a choppy flow of ideas. For instance, transitioning between different years and activities lacks smooth connections. To achieve a higher band, you need to structure your writing into clear paragraphs with logical sequencing, use a wider variety of cohesive devices accurately, and ensure referencing is clear throughout the text.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, with frequent errors in word choice, spelling, and word formation that occasionally strain the reader. Examples include spelling mistakes like 'tannis' instead of 'tennis' and awkward phrases such as 'most disliked actitiv'. There are limited attempts to use less common vocabulary, but these are often inaccurate, such as 'rapidly increase' instead of 'increased rapidly'. To improve your lexical score, you should expand your range of vocabulary related to data trends and changes, pay closer attention to word forms and spelling, and use more precise terms to describe increases, decreases, and comparisons.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The response displays a very limited range of grammatical structures, relying mostly on simple sentences with frequent errors. There are noticeable problems with subject-verb agreement and verb forms, such as 'participants were involved' mixed with 'participants involved' and 'participants are listed'. Tense usage is also inconsistent when describing past data from 2000 to 2020. Punctuation and capitalization errors, such as starting sentences with lowercase letters ('the table tannis participants'), further reduce grammatical accuracy. To improve, you need to practise forming correct complex sentences using a variety of accurate tenses and structures while paying close attention to basic grammatical rules.
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