Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-05
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The line graph illustrates the diagram was given belows informative on the number of participants for different various activities at one the social centre in melborne,australia for the throughout the period becoming from 2000 to 2020.The number of participamnts activities divided into between fiv e critieria are namely flim club,martial arts,amateur dramatics,table tennis and musical perfomances available for this secting activities.
Overall,it is the flim club had the highest number of participants in various activities through out the period.It's number increasing peaking become declining from 2000 to 2020.In constrasts,the number of participants in various activities showed in varying trends throught out amateur dramatics had the lowest recording for this line graph figures.
As per the line figure, the flim club consistently attracted the most participants,while amateur dramatics had the fewest.Table tennis and amateur dramatics saw relatively stable participation rates with only two decades minor fluctuation.
However,the data significantly highlights flim club dominated in terms of figure number of participants by activities from 2000 to 2020.The highest people for this joining in activities social centre flim club,the lowest people joining amateur dramatics this throught out the period.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5
The response attempts to address the prompt by summarising data from the line graph regarding activities at a social centre, but the coverage is only partial. While the student identifies the film club as having the highest participation and amateur dramatics as the lowest, key details and trends for other categories like table tennis and martial arts are vague or inaccurate. The overview is poorly articulated and repetitive, stating that the film club was the highest in various activities. To move to a higher band, the response needs to present a clearer and more accurate overview of all main trends and support them with correct, relevant data points from the chart.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5
The text is organized into paragraphs, but the overall progression of ideas lacks clarity and logical flow. Cohesive devices are used awkwardly or inaccurately, such as the phrase 'In constrasts' and repetitive transitional phrasing between sentences. Paragraphing is attempted, but the internal structuring of ideas within paragraphs is disjointed and confused. Pronoun referencing and linking words are frequently mismanaged, which disrupts the reading flow. To improve, the student should use cohesive devices more naturally and ensure each paragraph has a distinct, logically developed focus that contributes to a clear progression of information.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.5
The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, with numerous errors in word choice, word form, and spelling. Examples of lexical slips and non-standard collocations include 'participamnts', 'flim club', 'perfomances', and 'secting activities'. The student attempts less common vocabulary but lacks control over spelling and word formation, which occasionally impedes communication. To achieve a higher band, the writer needs to expand their range of vocabulary, ensure correct spelling of key terms related to the visual data, and use more precise expressions for describing trends and numbers.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The response shows a very limited range of sentence structures, with frequent grammatical errors that cause difficulty for the reader. There are persistent issues with article usage ('the social centre', 'melborne'), punctuation, and awkward clumping of clauses without proper conjunctions or subordination. Verbs and tense forms are also frequently mishandled, as seen in 'was given belows informative' and 'increasing peaking become declining'. To improve, the student must work on basic sentence construction, ensure correct subject-verb agreement, and reduce the frequency of grammatical errors by using simpler, more controlled structures.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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