Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-05
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
This graph provides us information about the the participants of different activites like some participatnts are o film club and some participant ar from martial arts activites ,some are from amateur dramatics,table tennis,and some musical performances.
The number of participants of fim club were about 60to70 during the years 2000 to 20000.From 2000 to 2005 there were there wee about only 10 participants of musical industry but there number increased from 10 to 70 during the years 2005 to 2020.there hd been a tremandous increase increase in th number of musical participants.
The number of table tennis participants were 20from the yer 2000 to 2010 but they faced a big downfall and they become 10 again from 2010 to 2020.fim club participants remained 60 during 2000 to 2010.and increased from 60 to 70 from years 2010 to 2020
at last the amateur dramatics had a big downfall they were 30 in 2005 but they decreased from 30 to 0 after a span of 15 years.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 3.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5
The response struggles to present an accurate overview of the visual data, resulting in a partial and confused account of the chart. While the writer attempts to mention several activities such as the film club, martial arts, amateur dramatics, and table tennis, the information reported contains significant inaccuracies regarding the actual figures and trends shown in the source graph. For instance, the text claims that musical performances had about 10 participants in 2000 and rose to 70, whereas the graph clearly shows zero participants in 2000 and around 18 in 2020. Similarly, the details provided for table tennis and amateur dramatics misinterpret the actual trajectories of the lines. Because the core data points and trends are frequently misread or misreported, and the selection of features lacks clarity, the response sits at this lower band level.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5
The response shows some basic organization, but overall cohesion and paragraphing are weak. The text is divided into four short paragraphs, but the logical progression between sentences is frequently disrupted. Cohesive devices are minimal or inaccurate, leading to a disjointed reading experience. For example, the transition 'at last' is used awkwardly to introduce the final category. Furthermore, referencing is often unclear, with pronouns like 'they' and 'their' applied ambiguously across different activities without clear antecedents. To improve, the writer needs to group related data logically, use accurate transition words to guide the reader through comparisons, and ensure that each paragraph has a clear thematic focus.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.5
The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, relying heavily on simple terms like 'participants', 'activites', and 'increase'. There are numerous spelling errors throughout the text, including 'activites', 'participatnts', 'ar', 'fim', 'there' (used for 'their'), 'hd', 'tremandous', 'yer', and 'become'. Word choices are often imprecise or incorrect, such as referring to the musical performances as a 'musical industry'. The range of vocabulary is limited to what is minimally necessary to talk about the chart, and the frequent spelling mistakes cause some strain for the reader. To reach a higher level, the student should expand their vocabulary to include precise synonyms and collocations for describing data trends, while paying closer attention to standard spelling.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The grammatical structures attempted are very limited, consisting mostly of simple and occasionally faulty complex sentences. There are frequent errors in verb forms, tense usage, agreement, and punctuation throughout the text. Examples include 'this graph provides us information about the the participants', 'there wee about only 10', and 'the number of table tennis participants were 20... but they become 10 again'. Punctuation is often neglected, leading to run-on thoughts and missing spaces after periods, such as in '2000 to 2010 but they... 2010 to 2020.fim club'. These frequent grammatical errors and the lack of varied sentence structures hinder clarity and place the response firmly at this level of grammar proficiency.
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