Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-05
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The graph gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne,Australia for the time priod of 2000 to 2020 a total of 20 years
In the year 2000 around 64 participants are in the activity of film club but after 5 years in 2005 the numbers of participants starts to reducing till 2010 the number drops to 60 and thats the last drop beacuse after 2010 the number gradually rise in 2015 from 60 to 65 again and as for 2020 the number of participants rise to almost 68
On the other hand the participants of table tanis have a great rise and not even a single drop in 2000 the number is almost 16, in 2005 the number of participants increases to 20 and is same in the year 2010 but in 2015 a major rise of participants were added and the number grows to 35 and the same rise in 2020 the number of pa
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 3.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5
The response addresses the task only partially, and the length requirement is not met as the text falls short of the 150-word minimum. While the student attempts to report on some categories from the graph, such as the film club and table tennis, the data provided contains inaccuracies and lacks an overall summary or clear overview. Furthermore, the response is incomplete and cuts off mid-sentence at the end. To achieve a higher band, the writer must ensure the word count requirement is met, include a clear overview of main trends, and report the data more accurately without relying on fragmented points.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5
There is some basic organisation in the response, but it lacks clear overall progression and logical paragraphing. The text begins with a single run-on sentence that acts as an introduction, followed by blocky paragraphs that fail to guide the reader smoothly through the data. Cohesive devices are very basic or missing entirely, resulting in a disjointed flow. For instance, transitions between different activities and years are abrupt, and referencing is weak. To improve coherence and cohesion, the writer should structure the essay into distinct paragraphs with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs, utilising appropriate connecting words to link ideas and compare trends logically.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is limited and basic, with noticeable spelling and word choice errors that occasionally cause difficulty for the reader. Examples of lexical weaknesses include 'priod' instead of period, 'reducing' instead of decreasing, and 'tanis' instead of tennis. The writer attempts some topic-specific vocabulary such as 'participants' and 'activity', but the range remains restricted and repetitive. To progress, the student needs to expand their vocabulary range, learn correct word forms and spellings, and incorporate more precise terminology for describing statistical trends, such as 'fluctuate', 'surge', or 'decline'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The grammatical range is very limited, consisting mostly of simple and attempted complex structures that are frequently faulty. There is an almost total lack of standard punctuation, with run-on sentences and missing periods throughout the text. Errors in tense consistency and verb forms are frequent, such as shifting incorrectly between past and present descriptions of historical data. Additionally, basic agreement and preposition errors occur. To reach a higher standard, the writer must improve sentence boundaries with correct punctuation, maintain consistent tenses when reporting past data, and demonstrate control over a wider variety of grammatical structures.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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