Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

 

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The line graph illustrates numbers of candidates from different activities at one point ocassinal centre in melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020. how much activaties shown in graph.

Overall,numbers of participats enroll for in different film club, martial arts, amateur dramatics, table tennis, Musical performances. highest numbers in film clubs and as well others activites fluated same numbers.

In 2000 strating 65% and average 68% highest numbers of particepates in enrolled in film clubs are peaks. Table tennis in 2000 18% particepates after the years jumbs to numbers in fluated to amateur dramatics in 2010 after this years peaks 2nd highest numbers of table tennis particepantes.

In 2005 0% of musical performances jumps to the flueted with dramtics in 2015 12% to 19%.Martial arts is in 37% total participates in starting phase time after the many years in 2015 35 % cross between table tennis numbers and in the end 36% 3rd largest particepates enrolled. Amatures dramatics enrolled in 27% participates in 2000 after the numbers of enrollment fell in 2020 total 8%.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response attempts to address the task by mentioning various activities such as the film club, martial arts, and table tennis over the period from 2000 to 2020. However, the coverage remains partial and superficial. Many of the reported figures and trends are confused, inaccurate, or poorly articulated, such as citing percentages like "65%" and "68%" for what are clearly absolute numbers of participants, or misinterpreting the scale and data points. There is an attempt at an overview, stating that film clubs had the highest numbers and other activities fluctuated, but the lack of accurate data reporting and clear main features means the response only minimally responds to the prompt. To move to a higher band, the student must carefully read the axis values, avoid inventing percentages, and clearly highlight overarching trends alongside accurately reported key data points.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The overall progression of information is very difficult to follow. The response lacks logical organization, with sentences and paragraphs disjointed and lacking clear cohesive links. For instance, the transition from the introduction to the body paragraphs feels abrupt, and sentences like "Table tennis in 2000 18% particepates after the years jumbs to numbers in fluated" demonstrate a severe lack of logical flow and cohesive control. Paragraphing is attempted, but the internal structure of these blocks fails to guide the reader through the data systematically. Pronoun referencing and basic cohesive devices are either missing or misused, causing the information to feel fragmented and disconnected. To improve, the student should group related data logically—such as separating rising trends from falling ones—and use appropriate transition markers to connect sentences.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is basic, repetitive, and frequently strained by inaccurate word choices and non-standard forms. Words such as "ocassinal" (occasional), "participats" (participants), "fluated" (fluctuated), "jumbs" (jumps), and "particepates" (participants) demonstrate frequent spelling errors and confusion over word forms. Furthermore, terms like "centre" and "candidates" are used inappropriately in the context of reporting a line graph of participant numbers. While there is an attempt to use vocabulary related to the prompt (e.g., "film club", "table tennis"), the severe limitations in lexical control and frequent spelling mistakes significantly impede communication. To achieve a higher score, the student needs to build a reliable repertoire of standard vocabulary for describing data trends, such as verbs of change (increase, decrease, fluctuate) and nouns related to statistics, while paying closer attention to accurate spelling.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The grammatical range is severely restricted, relying heavily on faulty simple and fragmented structures. There is a near-total absence of error-free sentences. Frequent errors occur in verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and basic sentence construction, such as "how much activaties shown in graph" and "In 2000 strating 65% and average 68% highest numbers of particepates in enrolled in film clubs are peaks." Prepositions and articles are frequently omitted or misused, and clauses are often cobbled together without proper finite verbs or conjunctions. These frequent grammatical errors cause significant difficulty for the reader. To progress, the student must focus on constructing complete, grammatically sound sentences with clear subjects and verbs, and practice standard tense usage for describing past data.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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