Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-06
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The graph provides us the information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.
Starting with the year 2000, the number of participants for the musical perfomances were zero as compared to the other participants. The musical participants started in the year 2005 and then increased in number till 2020. If we take a look at the table tennis at the start of 2005 they were around 16-17 but whats surpricing that the number increases after the year 2015 and it goes around atleast 50 participants.
Amateur dramatics Participants on the other hand were different they were around 26 at the start of 2000 but after after 5 years there numbers started to decrease till 2020 there were zero participants left. The number of participants at martial arts were from start to till 2020 were around 30-40. Film club participants as compared to the all others participants were around 63 in 2000 maintaining the same amount till 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0
The response only minimally addresses the task requirements. Importantly, the length requirement is not met, as the response contains 149 words, falling one word short of the 150-word minimum (with 22 words copied from the prompt excluded from the count). While the writer attempts to present an overview of the data, the selection of features is limited, and some of the data reported is inaccurate or imprecise. For instance, the writer states that musical performances started in 2005 when the graph shows they began around 2010 with zero participants in 2005, and describes martial arts as remaining around 30-40 throughout without noting the specific fluctuations. Furthermore, the response lacks a clear overall summary of the main trends across the period.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5
Information and ideas are not arranged in a fully coherent manner. The text is presented as a single dense block rather than being divided into logical paragraphs, which hinders the overall organization and readability. Although some transitional phrases are attempted, such as 'Starting with the year 2000' and 'On the other hand', the progression of ideas is disjointed. Referencing is occasionally unclear, and the mechanical or absent use of paragraphing means there is no clear overall progression of information. To improve, the writer must group related ideas into distinct paragraphs and establish a logical flow between sentences.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, employing a limited range adequate only for the simplest communication. There are noticeable errors in word choice, form, and spelling that reflect a restricted lexical repertoire. For example, the student writes 'perfomances' (misspelling of performances), 'whats surpricing that', and uses awkward phrasing such as 'maintaining the same amount till 2020' when referring to participant numbers. Less common lexical items are either absent or attempted with significant inaccuracy. To reach a higher band, the student needs to incorporate a wider variety of precise vocabulary and precise synonyms related to data trends.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The response demonstrates a very limited range of sentence structures, relying heavily on basic patterns with frequent errors. There are notable issues with verb forms, subject-verb agreement, and articles throughout the text. For instance, the student writes 'the number of participants for the musical perfomances were zero' (incorrect plural agreement with 'number') and 'after after 5 years there numbers started' (incorrect spelling of 'their' and repetitive prepositional structures). Punctuation is also weak, leading to run-on sentences like 'If we take a look at the table tennis at the start of 2005 they were around 16-17 but whats surpricing that the number increases...'. Frequent structural and grammatical errors cause difficulty for the reader.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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