Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

 

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The graph illustrates the data about the figures of attendees for five different activities at a social centre in Melbourne, for the duration 2000 to 2020.

Overall, the graph represents the number of participants remained the same for film club with a slight decline in 2010 and a dramatically increase in the participants of tabble tennis dramatics ater the same year.

Firstly, the activities that shows a increase in participants over the years such as musical performance which saw a steady increase starting from no participant at all and increasing steadily over the next 15 years and has nearly 20 particiapnts in the year 2020. Tabble tennis on the other hand has also draws a significant increase in the attendees after the year 2010 over taking the martial arts in the year 2015 which fluctuated over the years but remained same as where it started in the beginning at around 38 partidicpants.

Then,

after the year 2005 as compare and for the tabble tennis at the year 2000 starting at around 16 participants increasing a bit for the next decade the saw a drastic increase the the next 10 years and has more than 50 particiapnts in the year 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify several relevant patterns, including the rise in table-tennis participation and the steady growth in musical performances from zero to nearly 20. You also note that martial arts fluctuated and finished close to its starting level. However, the overview is unclear and contains a major misdescription: film-club participation did not remain the same; it dipped slightly before rising to its highest level. The phrase “tabble tennis dramatics” also makes it difficult to tell which trend you mean. Amateur dramatics, an important declining series, is barely reported, and the response gives little clear comparison across all five activities. Select the main overall trends accurately, then support them with a few well-chosen figures and comparisons.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is an attempt to organise the response with an introduction, an overview, and sequencing words such as “Firstly” and “Then.” The discussion of musical performances and table tennis is also grouped together. However, progression is difficult to follow because the overview is unclear, the second body paragraph begins with a fragment (“Then,”), and the final paragraph contains a broken comparison that does not complete its meaning. Some information is repeated, particularly the table-tennis rise, while the decline in amateur dramatics is not integrated into the account. Use one paragraph for the overview and separate body paragraphs for clearly grouped trends; ensure each paragraph develops a complete point and that linking words show the actual relationship between ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses some relevant task vocabulary, including “participants,” “fluctuated,” “steady increase,” and “significant increase,” so the reader can recognise the general subject and several trends. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or awkward, such as “the data about the figures of attendees,” “has also draws,” and “over taking.” Repeated use of “increase” also makes the description less precise. Spelling errors such as “tabble,” “particiapnts,” and “partidicpants” further reduce clarity and control. Aim for concise, standard chart language and check spelling carefully; for example, use “the number of participants” and “overtook” rather than longer or incorrect forms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentences, including a sentence beginning “Tabble tennis on the other hand,” and use time clauses to describe changes. However, complex attempts are often faulty, and errors sometimes make the intended meaning difficult to follow. Examples include “the graph represents the number of participants remained the same,” where the clauses are not joined correctly, and “which saw a steady increase … and has nearly 20,” where the verb forms do not align. There are also agreement and sentence-completion problems in “the activities that shows” and the unfinished “Then,” paragraph. Practise building complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, and check agreement and tense consistency when describing past data.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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