Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

 

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The line graph illustrates the performance of candidates in different plays in the duration of twenty years .The over all figure show a consistent increase in games from left to right at social centre of Melbourne Initially the work of musician is zero in 2000,but it take a flow of people in the 2005 upto 10 and then 15 and 20 in the years of 2010,2015,2020.The number of persons involved in the play of tennis is also increases from 2000 to 2020 ,which estimates a high ratio of comers interest.The line of amateur dramatic section gradually falldown from top to bottom in 20 years.The section of martial arts shows an increase and decrease in the number of participants throughout the era of 20 years.In order to find the ratio of film club performers graph follow a slow and steady up and down from 2000 to 2020 .The overall figure compares the tables tennis show greater participants in Australia Melbourne.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response4.5
Coherence and Cohesion4.0
Lexical Resource4.5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.0
Overall4.5

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify several relevant patterns, including the decline in amateur dramatics, fluctuations in martial arts and film-club participation, and growth in table tennis and musical performances. However, the overview is unclear and partly inaccurate: “the overall figure show a consistent increase” does not describe all activities, since amateur dramatics falls and martial arts fluctuates. Some figures are also misreported: musical performances rise from zero to about 12 in 2010, 16 in 2015 and 18 in 2020, rather than 10, 15 and 20; table tennis reaches about 54, but this is not clearly stated. The response therefore covers the graph only partially, with limited detail and imprecise comparisons. Give a clear overview of the contrasting trends and support it with accurate key figures.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response moves through the activities in a generally understandable order, so the reader can identify which series is being discussed. However, it is presented as one continuous paragraph, and the progression between points is weak. Several transitions, such as “In order to find the ratio of film club performers,” do not clearly signal a comparison or a new feature. The opening claim about an overall increase also conflicts with the later description of amateur dramatics declining. Organise the report into a brief introduction, an overview, and grouped detail paragraphs—for example, rising activities together and declining or fluctuating ones together. Use straightforward linking phrases and ensure each sentence follows logically from the previous one.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt some topic-related vocabulary, including “participants,” “gradually,” “consistent increase,” and “up and down,” but much of the wording is repetitive or imprecise. Phrases such as “performance of candidates in different plays” and “comers interest” do not accurately describe participation in activities, while “the work of musician” is unclear. “The line of amateur dramatic section” and “ratio of film club performers” also make the intended meaning harder to follow. These choices show a limited range for describing data and trends, with errors that sometimes strain the reader. Use standard chart language consistently, such as “the number of participants,” “rose,” “fell,” “fluctuated,” and “remained stable,” and choose precise activity names.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You communicate several basic trend statements, and there are attempts to link clauses, as in “The section of martial arts shows an increase and decrease … throughout the era.” However, sentence structures are mostly simple or loosely joined, and frequent errors in verb forms, agreement, articles and sentence boundaries reduce accuracy. Examples include “The over all figure show,” “it take a flow,” “the number … is also increases,” and “graph follow.” The opening also runs sentences together, with inconsistent spacing before punctuation. Practise forming accurate present-tense descriptions of chart data, including subject–verb agreement and past-tense forms where appropriate, and separate each main idea into a complete sentence. More controlled complex sentences would improve clarity.

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