Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

 

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The given line graph cmpares the data of numbers in various areas at one centre between 2000 and 2020.

Overall, it has five activitys, although these have exact figures. Also in one of the hobbies is low number like zero additionally this hobbie is lowest.

At the begin, firstly film club is quite famous in melbourne, numerous people prefer that persuits. However, this has such similar information, eventhough that is the favoruit hobbie most individuals persue that. Then second is martial arts it is unique thing many persons like that main part is in this persuits only in 2005 or 2010 is not same number, but all three is exact same to same.

Moreover, next two is equal in all years, it also have exact digit but in two activitie these are not in sequence in addition the last one or third one has same number therefore musical performances in 2020 is 13 or tennis in 2000 is touble of the 13.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response identifies the graph as covering five activities over 2000–2020 and notes that one activity starts at zero, so it shows some awareness of the task. However, the overview is unclear and does not accurately summarise the main trends: film club remains the highest, table tennis rises sharply, and amateur dramatics declines substantially. Several comparisons are confused or incorrect. For example, the claim that the “next two” activities are equal across all years is not supported by the data, and the final comparison involving musical performances and table tennis is difficult to interpret and inaccurate. To improve, select the clearest overall patterns first, then report a few accurate figures to support them rather than making unclear claims about popularity or equality.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response has paragraph breaks and attempts to move from an introduction and overview to details, using connectors such as “Overall,” “However,” and “Moreover.” These provide a basic framework. However, the ideas are not arranged in a clear progression, and the body paragraphs do not consistently compare or describe the series. Phrases such as “next two is equal in all years” and “the last one or third one” leave the reader unsure which activities are being discussed. Some linking words also signal relationships that are not clear from the content. Organise the report by meaningful trends—for example, the consistently high film-club figures, the rise in table tennis, and the decline in amateur dramatics—and name each activity whenever you make a comparison.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The writer uses some task-related vocabulary, including “line graph,” “numbers,” “activities,” and “participants,” and attempts to describe popularity and comparisons. However, the range is basic and several word choices or forms make the meaning difficult to follow. Examples include “activitys,” “hobbie,” “persuits,” and “favoruit,” as well as the unclear phrase “exact digit.” Expressions such as “quite famous” and “unique thing” are not precise ways to describe participant numbers. Use standard graph language and accurate activity names, such as “the figure for table tennis,” “rose sharply,” or “remained relatively stable.” Careful spelling and more precise collocations would make the comparisons easier to understand.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts both simple and longer sentences, including clauses introduced by “although” and “however,” but control is inconsistent and sentence boundaries are often unclear. For example, “Overall, it has five activitys, although these have exact figures” does not express a clear grammatical relationship, while “all three is exact same to same” has problems with agreement and sentence construction. There are also errors in articles, plurals, and verb forms, as in “one of the hobbies is low number” and “next two is equal.” These errors frequently make the intended comparisons hard to interpret. Build shorter, complete sentences first, checking subject–verb agreement and singular/plural forms, then add subordinate clauses only when the relationship between ideas is clear.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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