Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

 

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The line graph gives information about the numbers of participants for various activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia during 2000 and 2020.

Overall, it is clear that Film club remains for the highest through out the period, while Amateur dramatics showed an downward trend slightly.

Fiml club accounted for highest throughout the period while it shows some fluctuctations.secondly, Table tennis showed an upward trend although starting form the lower level than martial arts and Amateur dramatics, while amateur started just below the film club it shows gradually inclined trend.

regarding, table tennis it showed a slightly downward trend reaching the lowerst level of participants through out the period., while muscial performace started from a lower level it showed an some upward trend reachingt almost 20% by the 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify the chart’s subject and make an attempt at an overview, noting that the film club remains the largest activity and that musical performances rise. However, several key trends are misreported: amateur dramatics declines rather than “gradually inclined,” and table tennis rises sharply from 16 to about 54 participants rather than falling to its lowest level. The response also repeats the film-club point and gives little accurate detail about the other series, so it only partially summarises the main features. The response is 122 words, below the required 150; this limits the opportunity to select and report the data adequately. Include a clear overview and support it with accurate comparisons and representative figures.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the response, beginning with an introduction and then moving to general comments about the activities. However, the progression is difficult to follow because the film-club trend is repeated, and the later statements about table tennis and amateur dramatics contradict earlier descriptions. Linking words such as “Overall,” “secondly,” and “regarding” show an effort to connect ideas, but some are awkwardly placed or do not clarify the relationship between points. Punctuation also disrupts the flow, particularly in “fluctuctuations.secondly” and the sentence ending “period., while”. Group the information into a concise overview and logically ordered detail paragraphs, with each sentence reporting one clear trend.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant chart vocabulary, including “participants,” “upward trend,” “downward trend,” and “fluctuations,” so the topic is generally recognisable. However, the range is limited and several spelling errors make the writing less clear, such as “Fiml,” “fluctuctations,” “form,” “lowerst,” and “muscial performace.” Some phrases are also imprecise or unnatural, including “remains for the highest” and “reaching almost 20%,” since the graph reports participant numbers rather than percentages. Aim for accurate, varied trend language and check spelling carefully. For example, use “remained the most popular activity” and “rose to approximately 18 participants” to describe the data precisely.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response includes simple statements and attempts longer sentences using “while” and “although,” but control is inconsistent. Errors include “Film club remains for the highest,” where the verb pattern is faulty, and “Amateur dramatics showed an downward trend,” where the article does not agree with the following sound. The sentence beginning “while amateur started just below the film club” also has unclear structure and does not express the intended trend reliably. Missing spaces after full stops and misplaced punctuation further affect accuracy. Use straightforward, complete sentences with consistent past-tense reporting, and check articles, verb forms, and sentence boundaries. For instance: “Table tennis rose from 16 participants in 2000 to about 54 in 2020.”

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