Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

 

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The line graph illustrates the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne and Australia for the period 2000 from 2020.

In year 2000, participants of table tennis is around 18% and amateur dramatics participants around 27 percent. After 5 years table tennis was increased and reached around 20%, amateur dramatics was grewed only 1percent. In 2010 participants of table tennis was same stable as last period and amateur dramatics participants was decreased and reached around 20 percent. In 2010 to 2020 participants of table tennis was sharply rise and reached around 53% and participants of amateur dramatics was fast declined and reached around 5 percent.

In year 2000, participants of martial arts around 37% and film clud participants around 65 percent. After 5 years martial arts was declined and reached around 32 percent, participants of film club was decreased and reached around 62%. In 2010 participants of martial arts was increased and reached around 37% same as 2000 year, participants of film club was go downed and reached around 60 percent same as 2000 year. In 2015 to 2020 film club was slowly rise and reached around 65% participants. In 2015 participants of martial arts was decreased and reached around 34 percent after 5 years the participants was increased 1 percent.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You report several relevant trends, including table tennis rising strongly and amateur dramatics declining, and you cover the film club and martial arts as well. However, the response has no clear overview identifying the main contrasts across the period, so the reader must infer which changes matter most. Some figures and comparisons are inaccurate: film-club participation falls to about 60 in 2010, not to the same level as in 2000, and martial arts rises to about 38 in 2010 rather than 37. You also describe participant numbers as percentages, although the graph shows numbers of people. The musical-performances series is omitted entirely. Select the major overall patterns, report units correctly, and check figures against the graph.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response is divided into two paragraphs, grouping table tennis with amateur dramatics and then martial arts with the film club. This gives the information some organisation, and the repeated time markers help readers follow the sequence. However, there is no introductory overview or concluding summary, and the account proceeds year by year rather than establishing a clear hierarchy of the main features. Phrases such as “In 2010” and “After 5 years” are repeated, while the transition “In 2015 to 2020” is awkward and does not clearly connect the comparison. Group the series by their overall trends and use linking expressions to show contrasts, such as “whereas” or “by comparison.”

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for describing change, including “sharply rise,” “declined,” “stable,” and “reached,” so the reader can generally identify the trends you intend to describe. However, the range is limited and several choices or forms are inaccurate, such as “grewed,” “fast declined,” and “go downed.” “Percent” is also unsuitable because the graph reports participant numbers, not percentages, and “film clud” contains a spelling error. These noticeable problems make the description less precise, even when the intended meaning can be understood. Build a reliable set of trend verbs and collocations, and use “participants” or “people” with figures rather than percentage language.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

Most sentences follow a basic time-marker-plus-result pattern, and you attempt to describe changes across several dates. However, the range of sentence structures is very limited, and errors in verb forms and agreement occur frequently. For example, “participants of table tennis is” should use a plural verb, while “was grewed” and “was sharply rise” do not form correct past-tense constructions. Articles and prepositions are also often missing or awkward, as in “In year 2000” and “reached around 20 percent.” These errors sometimes make the relationships between the activity and its figures difficult to process. Practise accurate past-tense forms and plural agreement, then combine simple comparisons into controlled sentences.

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