Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

 

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The line graph illustrates the number of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne in Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

Overall, it is clear that flim club were the highest proportion in Melbourne in 2000 while table tennis were the lowest proportion in 2000. Musical performances were the lowest proportion in 2005.

Looking at the details, film club recorted the highest figure approximately 65% in 2000 after that it fluctuated at 60% in 2010 and than increased the percentage around 66% in 2020. Martial arts represented 36% in 2000 and than showed a downward trend with approximately 31% in 2005 after this fluctuation it increased to 39% in 2010 while stanted at 35% in 2020.

Looking at the remaining details,

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

You identify the graph’s subject and report some relevant figures, including film club’s high level and the broad rise in table tennis from 16 to 54 participants. However, the response is incomplete: it ends after “Looking at the remaining details,” without describing amateur dramatics, table tennis’s major growth, or musical performances’ increase. The overview also mislabels participant numbers as “proportion” and omits the key overall changes; film club remained high, while amateur dramatics fell sharply. Some reported figures are approximate, but the main issue is missing coverage. The response contains 114 words, below the required 150, which further limits how fully the task is addressed. Include a complete overview and report the main trends for all five activities.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic structure: an introduction, an overview, and detail paragraphs, and phrases such as “Overall” and “Looking at the details” signal the intended stages. However, progression is weak because the final paragraph consists only of “Looking at the remaining details,” and provides no information. The overview lists isolated starting-point rankings rather than summarising the main trends, while the detail paragraphs cover only two activities. Linking phrases such as “after that,” “after this,” and “while” are repeated and sometimes make the sequence of changes difficult to follow. To improve, organise the body by related trends, complete each paragraph, and use clear references and transitions to show how the figures change over time.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some task-relevant vocabulary, including “fluctuated,” “downward trend,” and “increased,” and the reader can generally understand which activities you mean. However, several word choices are inaccurate or unnatural for describing a line graph: “highest proportion” and “lowest proportion” should refer to participant numbers, not proportions, and “represented 36%” incorrectly presents a count as a percentage. There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “flim,” “recorted,” and “stanted.” These reduce precision, especially in a response with limited coverage. Aim for accurate collocations such as “the number of participants stood at” and check spelling carefully; use a varied but precise set of verbs for rises, falls, and stability.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response includes both simple statements and longer sentences, for example, “Martial arts represented 36% in 2000 and than showed a downward trend…” This shows an attempt to connect changes, but the longer structures are often not controlled accurately. In “film club were the highest proportion,” the subject and verb do not agree, and “than” is repeatedly used where “then” is needed to sequence events. The sentence about film club also lacks clear punctuation between successive changes, making the timeline harder to follow. Most sentences communicate a basic meaning, but errors recur in agreement, sentence construction, and punctuation. Build shorter, accurate comparisons first, then combine them using correctly punctuated clauses.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.