Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

 

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The graph illustrate that the knowledge on the number of participants for different activites at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia in 2000 to 2020.

Overall, music performances and amateur dramaatics were recorded the rose sharply over the period, while the table tennis showed a decline. The starting and ending point in film club both record the highest point in this graph.

In 2000 and 2005, musical performances, was the lowest proportion almost zero, while In 2010, it was rose sharply, at approximately 11%. In 2015 and 2020, it were showed countinuous growth, at almost 16% and 19% respectively. In martial arts, in 2000, the figure was 36% falling to 32% in 2005, followed by 39% in 2010. in 2015 and 2020, it were almost 35% and 38%. In table tennis, were showed a countinuous rose, stood at 18%, 20%, 21% 39% and 56% respectively over the same peroid.

In 2000, 2005 and 2010, film club was recorded the slowly fall, at around 63%, 61% and 60%, while in 2015 and 2020 it was showed a growth, almost 63% and 65% respectively. In table tennis were showed a countinuous fall, 25%, 28%, 20%, 11% and 5% over the time period.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response identifies several relevant series and attempts an overview, but the main features are not reported accurately enough. The overview says musical performances and amateur dramatics rose sharply and table tennis declined; in fact, table tennis rose markedly, amateur dramatics fell, and musical performances increased from zero. The final paragraph then describes table tennis as falling, apparently confusing it with amateur dramatics. Several figures are also assigned incorrectly: the table-tennis sequence is given as 18, 20, 21, 39 and 56, while the chart shows approximately 16, 20, 20, 36 and 54. Film club is correctly recognised as the highest series, but the response needs a clear, accurate overview and more reliable comparisons across all five activities.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is some organisation: an opening statement and overview are followed by paragraphs containing figures for different activities. However, the progression is weakened by contradictory information. Table tennis is first described as rising and later as falling, while the overview also reverses its trend. Grouping the series by their overall patterns—for example, the rising table-tennis and musical-performance figures together, then the declining amateur-dramatics figures—would make the comparison easier to follow. Linking phrases such as “while” and “followed by” are attempted, but several sentences are difficult to track because of faulty construction and unclear references, including “it were showed.” Use clear topic sentences and check that each paragraph consistently describes the same activity.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses some task-relevant vocabulary, including “participants,” “figure,” “approximately,” “growth” and “period,” so the reader can recognise that it is describing a line graph. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, sometimes obscuring the intended trend. For example, “the knowledge on the number” is not an appropriate way to introduce the graph, and “continuous rose” should describe a continuous rise. “Proportion” and percentages are also unsuitable here because the chart reports participant numbers, not shares of a total. Spelling errors such as “activites,” “countinuous” and “pero id” further reduce precision. Build a small set of accurate trend verbs and use the chart’s units consistently.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts both simple and longer sentences, including comparisons with “while” and sequences with “followed by,” but grammatical control is weak and errors occur throughout. Subject–verb agreement is faulty in “The graph illustrate” and “it were,” while passive constructions are often malformed, as in “were recorded the rose sharply” and “it was showed.” Articles, sentence boundaries and capitalisation are also inconsistent; for example, “In 2010” follows a comma but is incorrectly capitalised, whereas a new sentence begins with lowercase “in 2015.” These errors make some relationships between the figures difficult to understand. Practise accurate past-tense reporting with straightforward patterns such as “the figure rose to…” and “the number fell from…,” then combine them into longer sentences.

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