Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

 

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The tables illustrates the camperisons between two contries participants in distinict activities for the period 2000 and 2020.

To commence, in 2000 the highest participant in film club was almost 65 million and after five years the participant in this period rapidly fall.whenever,in 2010 the participant agian increase at the end of the period the participant was same in 2020.whilst,the martial arts was participant approximatelyb 35 million and five year after the participant decrease but in the next period the participant was equal in 2020. while, the amateur dramatics begain period near by 25 million participant and then in this period the percentage of participant sharpily decline at the end of period the participant almost million.

On the other hand, table tannis in 2000 the participant was 15 million and after this period steadily increase at the end this period the participant about 50 million.finally, the musical performaces begain in 2005 this period slowly incline in next years approximately 20 million.

overall,in the graph display the participant in five activities include film club,martial arts,ameteur dramatics,table tennis andmusical performaces.the film club was the highest partispant.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify all five activities and include several relevant comparisons, such as film club being the largest and table tennis rising substantially. However, the account is only partially accurate and the overview is limited: the final sentence repeats that film club was highest but does not summarise the contrasting overall trends. Some details are unclear or incorrect. Film-club participation dipped slightly and then rose to about 66, rather than falling rapidly and ending at the same level; musical performances began in 2010, not 2005; and amateur dramatics fell to about 6, but the final figure is not clearly stated. The description of table tennis also misses its particularly sharp rise after 2010. Select the main trends accurately and give a concise overview before supporting it with key figures.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is an attempt to organise the response into paragraphs, and phrases such as “On the other hand” and “finally” show an effort to connect information. However, the progression is difficult to follow because several activities and time periods are packed into long, loosely connected sentences. The opening refers to “two countries,” although the chart concerns activities at one social centre, and the concluding overview comes after the detailed account rather than clearly guiding it. Connectors such as “whenever” and repeated “while” do not express the relationships intended, while punctuation and spacing make boundaries between ideas unclear. Group the overview first, then describe related trends in separate, clearly structured paragraphs, using simple, accurate links between comparisons.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses some task-relevant vocabulary, including “participant,” “decline,” “increase,” and “approximately,” so the reader can recognise the general subject and direction of change. However, the range is basic and repetitive, with “participant” repeated frequently and several word choices or collocations making meaning unclear, such as “the highest participant” and “the percentage of participant.” There are also many spelling errors, including “camperisons,” “distinict,” “tannis,” and “performaces.” Use precise chart language such as “number of participants,” “stood at,” “rose,” and “fell,” and check spelling carefully. More accurate vocabulary would make the comparisons clearer without requiring more complicated wording.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to describe changes over time and use some linking clauses, but sentence structures are very limited and frequently faulty, which sometimes makes the intended meaning hard to follow. For example, “the participant in this period rapidly fall” has an incorrect verb form, while “the participant was same in 2020” is missing a necessary article and does not clearly express the comparison. Agreement and tense are also inconsistent, as in “The tables illustrates” and “the participant agian increase.” Long sentences joined mainly by commas create run-ons, and full stops are often missing. Practise accurate past-tense forms and build shorter sentences with a clear subject and verb before attempting more complex comparisons.

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