Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

 

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The graph illustrates comparison between two countries the number of participants in distinict activities in 2000 and 2020.

Firstly,in the begning Film club was the highest number of participants in 2000,but this period after ten years the number of participant rapidly decrease and after the period slowly increase at the end the participant number is same.Secondly,the Martial arts in the starting number of participants was 35 millions.While, the period in next years up-down and finally number of participant almost was equal.

On the other hand, the Amateur dramatics the number of participants in 2000 was approximately 25 millions. Whilst,this period after five yeras the participants of numbers fastly decline and the almost 5 millions .Finally,the Tabble tannis in 2000 the number of participants about 15 million and the Musical performances start in 2005 this period in next years respectively incline near by 60 millions and 20 millions.

Overall, the graph displays the numers of participants in vasrious activities include Film club was the highest activity in 2000 and 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response identifies several relevant activities and recognises that film club is the largest at the beginning and end, while amateur dramatics declines. However, it only minimally reports the graph’s main features and includes important inaccuracies. Film-club participation falls slightly to 60 in 2010, then rises to 66, rather than decreasing rapidly and ending at the same level. Table tennis rises sharply to 54, not “near by 60,” and musical performances begin in 2010, not 2005. The overview repeats the film-club point but does not summarise the contrasting overall trends, such as table tennis’s strong growth and amateur dramatics’ steep fall. Select the key trends accurately and compare their start and end points more clearly.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the report into an opening, body paragraphs and an overall statement. Sequencing words such as “Firstly,” “Secondly,” “On the other hand” and “Overall” show an effort to guide the reader. However, the progression is difficult to follow because several activities and time periods are compressed into long, loosely connected sentences. For example, the film-club sentence moves from 2000 through later years without clearly separating the stages, and the final body sentence combines table tennis with musical performances. Some linking words do not express a clear contrast or sequence. Group the activities by their trends, use one clear comparison per sentence, and make paragraph transitions reflect the information being compared.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses a small range of task-related vocabulary, including “participants,” “decline,” “increase” and “highest,” so the general subject is recognisable. However, vocabulary is basic and often repetitive, and inaccurate word choices or forms sometimes make the meaning unclear. Phrases such as “fastly decline,” “up-down,” “the almost 5 millions” and “the number of participants in distinict activities” are not natural or precise. There are also spelling errors, including “begning,” “Tabble tannis” and “numers.” Use standard trend language consistently—for example, “fell sharply,” “fluctuated,” and “rose steadily”—and choose precise terms such as “participant numbers” rather than repeatedly using awkward variations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts to connect ideas with time clauses and contrast markers, but sentence structures are limited and frequently inaccurate, which sometimes obscures the intended meaning. For instance, “the number of participant rapidly decrease” has problems with number agreement and verb form, while “the participant number is same” lacks the necessary article and natural sentence structure. Several sentences are fragments or have unclear clause relationships, such as “While, the period in next years up-down.” Punctuation and spacing are also inconsistent, particularly around commas and sentence openings. Build shorter, complete sentences first, checking subject–verb agreement, past-tense forms for the historical data, and articles; then add subordinate clauses only when their relationship is clear.

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