Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

 

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The line garph compares the number of participants for different activities at one social center in Melbourne, Australia between 2000 and 2020 .

From first year to last year the maximum number of participants is in Film club . Some participants are increasing and some decreasing by year . Only Martial arts are levelled out at a point .

In 2000 the number of participants are in Film club was about 67 .The figures for Martial arts, amaateur dramatics, table tennis, musical performance were lower , at about 38 , 28, 17, 0 respectively . In 2015 table tennis participants and martial arts rose to around 38 of the participants . While the figures for amatur dramatics and musical performances dipped to 11 .

By 2000 the number of participants was highest in film club. Almost 67 member covers the acticities , compared to about 38 to martial arts , 28 to amateur dramtics , 15 to table tannis .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify the main series, noting that the film club has the highest participation, and you include several starting figures. However, the overview is too general to summarise the key changes: table tennis rose sharply to become the second-largest activity by 2020, while amateur dramatics fell substantially. The account also contains important inaccuracies or omissions. For example, the film club began at about 64, not 67; the 2015 figures for amateur dramatics and musical performances were about 14 and 16, rather than both dipping to 11; and the final year is not reported. The last paragraph repeats the 2000 comparison instead of describing the end of the period. Select the main trends and compare the series accurately across the full timeframe.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response has a basic paragraph structure, moving from an introduction to a general comment and then to figures. Some sequencing is clear, particularly the opening comparison of activities in 2000. However, the progression is weak: the final paragraph returns to 2000 rather than advancing the account to 2020, and several ideas are placed together without clear relationships. The sentence beginning “In 2015” combines unrelated changes, while “While the figures…” is left as a fragment. Linking phrases such as “From first year to last year” and “By 2000” do not clearly guide the reader through the timeline. Organise the body chronologically or group rising and falling trends, and use clear links between comparisons.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant vocabulary for describing a line graph, including “participants,” “figures,” “increasing,” “decreasing,” and “rose.” This gives the response a basic range suited to the task. However, word choice and spelling errors are noticeable and sometimes make the meaning less clear: “garph,” “amaateur,” “amatur,” “dramtics,” and “tannis” appear in the text. Some expressions are also imprecise or unnatural, such as “levelled out at a point” and “67 member covers the acticities.” Aim for accurate spelling and standard collocations for data description. Replacing vague wording with terms such as “remained relatively stable,” “stood at,” and “increased sharply” would make comparisons clearer and more precise.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts both simple statements and longer comparisons, but grammatical control is inconsistent. Errors in agreement and sentence construction occur in examples such as “the number of participants are in Film club was” and “Only Martial arts are levelled out.” The phrase “While the figures for…” is not a complete sentence, and the final comparison, “Almost 67 member covers the acticities,” is difficult to interpret because its structure is faulty. Punctuation and spacing around full stops are also inconsistent. Use a clear subject and verb in each sentence, check singular/plural agreement, and make sure subordinate clauses beginning with “while” are attached to a complete main clause. More accurate sentence patterns would make the data easier to follow.

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