Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

 

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The line graph illustrate the information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in melbourne, australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

In an overview the highest number of participants , by activity [redacted phone] was film club in the line graph , and the lowest number of participants , by activity [redacted phone] was amateur dramatics in the line graph .

First and foremost , in the film club 2000 the number of participants about 64% to decerease 60% in 2010 and in 2010 to 2020 again increase almost 66%.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response identifies the film club as the most popular activity overall and amateur dramatics as the least popular by the end, and it reports the film-club trend broadly accurately: about 64 participants in 2000, a fall to 60 in 2010, then a rise to around 66 in 2020. However, the overview is imprecise because amateur dramatics was not the lowest throughout the period, and the response omits the other three activities and their important changes. It also gives percentages rather than participant numbers. The response contains 72 words, so it is 78 words below the 150-word minimum; this leaves the task only minimally covered, with key comparisons and details missing. Add a fuller overview and report the main trends across all series.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic structure: an opening sentence, an overview, and a detail paragraph beginning “First and foremost”. This gives the reader some sense of progression, and the film-club figures are presented in chronological order. However, the response is very short and does not develop a clear sequence of comparisons across the activities. Repeated wording such as “by activity 2000-2020” and “in the line graph” makes the overview cumbersome, while the comma spacing and sentence boundaries are inconsistent. Use separate paragraphs for the overview and key details, then organise the figures by notable trends—for example, the sharp rise in table tennis and the decline in amateur dramatics—with clear linking phrases.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses a small set of relevant terms, including “participants”, “overview”, “decrease” and “increase”, so the basic subject is understandable. However, the vocabulary is repetitive and some choices are inaccurate for describing the chart. “64%” and “60%” suggest percentages, whereas the graph shows numbers of participants; “number of participants” is the appropriate wording. The phrase “highest number … was film club” is also awkward, since the activity itself is not a number. Spelling errors such as “decerease” and the lower-case “melbourne” reduce accuracy. Build a wider range of chart language, such as “stood at”, “fell to”, “rose to” and “remained relatively stable”, and check spelling and collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts both simple statements and a longer sentence describing change over time, but grammatical control is uneven. The opening says “The line graph illustrate”, where the singular subject requires “illustrates”. In “in the film club 2000 the number … about 64% to decerease”, the sentence lacks a clear verb pattern and uses an incomplete construction; a clearer form would be “Film-club participation stood at about 64 in 2000, then fell to 60 in 2010.” The overview also has awkward sentence construction and punctuation, including spaces before commas. Most sentences are understandable, but the limited range and recurring errors restrict clarity. Practise accurate past-tense reporting and complete clauses, then proofread subject–verb agreement and punctuation.

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