Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

 

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The data display the ammount of individuals participants for different countrys for the period between 2000 to 2020.

Overall we can see, here Table tennis,Musical performances are rose and also Martial arts and Flim club are flactuation.The last one Amateur dramatics are discrease.

In contrast, 2000 year the number of participants in upto 17% in table tennis and 2005 to 2020 they high level increase.2005 to 2020 we can see here more then 18% increase musical performance.The nuumber of one perticipents amateur dramatics are year by year dicrease there level.

There are two perticipent are flactuation firstly martial arts here 2000 year the number of participet upto 16% and theye are fluctuation in 2020 year.Secondly flim club here 2000 year 65% participent and they also ar fluctuation 2020.This two participent are fluctuation

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify several broad trends, including the rise in table tennis and musical performances and the decline in amateur dramatics. However, the response only partially reports the graph’s key information and includes major misreadings: table tennis starts at about 16 participants, not “17%,” and rises to around 54 by 2020; film club remains high and changes only slightly, rather than being meaningfully described as fluctuating. Martial arts is also around 36 participants in 2000, not “16%.” Use participant numbers, not percentages, and compare the strongest changes with the relatively stable series. The overview is present but unclear, and the response is 18 words below the required minimum, limiting the detail available.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is an attempt to organise the response into an opening, an overview and further details, which gives the reader a basic structure. However, progression is difficult to follow because the details are not grouped or compared consistently. For example, “There are two perticipent are flactuation firstly…” introduces a comparison, but the repeated final sentence adds no new information. Linking phrases such as “In contrast” do not clearly express the relationship between the figures that follow. Use one paragraph for the overview and separate paragraphs for the main trends, grouping stable activities together and rising or falling ones together. Clearer sentence boundaries and less repetition would make the report easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses some task-related vocabulary, including “participants,” “increase,” “decrease” and “fluctuation,” so the general subject is recognisable. However, the range is limited and several word choices or forms make the meaning unclear, such as “ammount of individuals participants,” “they high level increase” and “the number of participants … 65%.” The repeated use of “fluctuation” also does not accurately describe the small changes in film-club participation. Spelling errors, including “countrys,” “Flim” and “dicrease,” further reduce clarity. Practise accurate trend language and use “participants” as a count rather than expressing the figures as percentages.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences, and the opening “The data display…” shows an effort to introduce the chart. However, sentence structures are often faulty, making relationships between ideas hard to understand. Examples include “Overall we can see, here Table tennis,Musical performances are rose” and “There are two perticipent are flactuation.” Verb forms and agreement are also frequently inaccurate: use “rose” or “increased,” not “are rose,” and “participation decreased,” not “are decrease.” Articles, prepositions and punctuation need attention as well, particularly in phrases such as “in 2000 year” and the missing spaces after commas. Build accurate short sentences before combining them.

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