Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

 

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In this graph different number of participants were shown in different games. There participation was changed in every five years ahead.

If we saw the graph, the participants of film club remained at high in numbers during the period 2000 to 2020.But if we saw the participants of musical perfomances the participants of this activity remained at low in numbers during this whole period.

At start, the participants of musical perfomances remained very low.

In comapre to the participants of film club the remained at high in numbers during the whole period. There was a fluctuation in other activities. Number of participants of table tennis were 18 at start. Participants of amateur dramatics at start were 27. Martial art was having a great attraction during that period. It have 37 participants during the same period. A high ratio of the participants of film club noted during that period.

Main fluctuation was noted except film club participants and musical performers.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify the film club as the largest activity and musical performances as initially very small, and you mention figures for several activities at the start. However, the account is only partial: it gives little information about how participation changed across 2000–2020, despite the graph’s main trends being clear. For example, table tennis rose markedly to about 54 by 2020, while amateur dramatics fell to around 6; neither change is reported. The claim that musical performances stayed low throughout also misses their rise from zero to about 18. The overview is vague, and “there was a fluctuation in other activities” does not distinguish the contrasting patterns. Select the major rises and falls and compare their end points to make the summary more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response has a basic sequence: it introduces the graph, comments on the two activities at the extremes, and then gives some starting figures. This provides a little organisation, but the ideas are not arranged into a clear overview followed by a systematic comparison of trends. Several points repeat, such as film club being high, and the final statement about “main fluctuation” does not clearly connect to the preceding details. Linking phrases such as “At start” and “In compare to” are used, but they do not establish precise relationships between the data. Group the activities by trend—for example, rising, falling, or relatively stable—and use clear references to years and comparisons to guide the reader.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary, including “participants,” “fluctuation,” and “remained,” so the topic is generally understandable. However, the range is limited and several expressions are repetitive or imprecise, particularly repeated references to participants being “high” or “low in numbers.” Some word choices and collocations make the meaning less natural, such as “games” for the centre’s activities and “a great attraction” to describe martial-arts participation. Spelling errors, including “perfomances” and “comapre,” are also noticeable. Build a more precise set of trend terms and use them accurately: for instance, describe table tennis as rising sharply and amateur dramatics as declining steadily, rather than relying on general descriptions of high and low numbers.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response relies mainly on simple sentence patterns, with limited control of more varied structures. Errors occur frequently in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction. For example, “There participation was changed” has an incorrect possessive and verb pattern, while “It have 37 participants” does not maintain subject–verb agreement. The sentence beginning “In comapre to the participants of film club” is incomplete or unclear, and punctuation is inconsistent, including the missing space after “2020.” These errors sometimes make relationships between ideas difficult to follow. Practise accurate past-tense reporting and complete comparison structures, such as “Martial arts had about 36 participants in 2000, compared with 64 in the film club.”

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