Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

 

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The line graph compares about different activities at one soical centre in Melbourne, Austrialia which are flim culb, mstrial arts, amateur dramatics, table tennis and musical performaces for the period 2000 to 2020.

It is crystal clear that the trend of participants for diiferent activities grew acceped amateur dramatics in over all period of time. The higest numbers of participants recored in flim culb and the lowest one in amateur dramatices.

In 2000, it was the starting phases of film culb the numbers of participants of people were round mind of 70 due to high flow of people it ends with 70. In the case of table tennise it was compelety oppsite because in staring period the members was mid of 20, in 2010 it hit the sky and reach up to 50 members. Muscial performances established in 2005 and people were less interested in this activites but slowly pull the flow of participants of people up to mid of 20.

In maritals the flow of members were up and down due to that in the end of the year the members was same as perviouse. In the amateur the drastica fall seen in 2005 at the end the participantices was mid of 10.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response identifies the five activities and attempts to describe their overall patterns, including the rise in table tennis and the decline in amateur dramatics. However, several key details are inaccurate or unclear: film-club participation is described as starting and ending at about 70, whereas it stays around the low-to-mid 60s; table tennis reaches about 20 in 2010 and 54 in 2020, not 50 in 2010; and musical performances begin in 2010, not 2005. The overview also says participation grew for all activities except amateur dramatics, although martial arts fluctuates around a similar level. To make the summary more effective, give a clear, accurate overview of the main contrasts and support it with correctly selected figures.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is an attempt to organise the response into an introduction, an overview and detail paragraphs, and the activities are generally discussed in a recognisable sequence. However, progression is difficult to follow because several ideas are crowded into long sentences and the comparisons are not clearly grouped. For example, the paragraph beginning “In 2000” moves from film club to table tennis and then musical performances without clear transitions, while “In maritals” and “In the amateur” make the references unclear. Use separate paragraphs for the overview and for related trends, and connect each sentence explicitly to the activity and time period being described. This would make the organisation more coherent and reduce the effort required to understand the comparisons.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response attempts some descriptive language, such as “drastica fall” and “up and down,” and uses relevant activity names. However, vocabulary is often repetitive, imprecise or incorrectly formed, which sometimes makes the intended meaning hard to understand. Phrases such as “hit the sky,” “high flow of people,” and “pull the flow of participants” are not natural choices for describing graph data; “participants” or “numbers” would be more suitable than repeatedly referring to “flow.” There are also frequent spelling errors in key terms, including “Austrialia,” “performaces” and “dramatices.” Build a reliable set of standard trend expressions and check spelling, word forms and collocations before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts both simple and longer sentence forms, but control is inconsistent, and errors frequently make relationships between ideas unclear. For example, “the trend of participants … grew … amateur dramatics” lacks a clear grammatical structure, while “the members was same as perviouse” has problems with agreement and sentence construction. Tense and article use are also unreliable, as in “it was the starting phases” and “the participantices was.” Some sentences run together without effective punctuation, particularly the description beginning “In 2000.” Practise accurate subject–verb agreement, complete sentence patterns and consistent past-tense reporting. Shorter, well-controlled sentences would help communicate the data more clearly while you develop more varied structures.

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