Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

 

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

THE GIVEN BELOW SHOW THE INFOMATION OF CONTESTANTS FOR DIFFERENT THINGS TO DO AT ONE SOCIAL CENTER IN MELBOURNE,AUSTRALIA FOR THE PERIOD 2000 TO 2020

THE GERAPHS SHOW THE NUMBER OF MEMBERS THAT THEY SPEND THEIR MOST OF TIME AT FILM CLUB THERE ARE TOTAL 64 MEMBERS THEY SPEND THEIR TIME FROM 2000 TO 2020. MOREOVER, THE NUMBER OF 16 THEY ACCUALY SPENT THEIR TIME WITH THE PASSEGE OF THE YEARS LIKE THEY STARTED THEIR TIME TO SPEND AT TABLE TENIS FROM 2000 TO 2010, THAT IS SAME TIME BUT PASSEGE OF THE TIME THE QUANTITY OF THE PARTICIPANTS INCREASE FROM 16 TO 52 IN 2020.

ON THE OTHER HAND, THE 26 MEMBERS OF AMATEUR DRAMATICS INCREASE THEIR ONLY ONE CONTESTANT IN 2005 AND THEN THEIR QUANTITY WERE DECREASE IN 2010 AND THEN 2015 AND STILL 2020 WHEN THEIR NUMBER OF MEMBERS WERE ONLY 5 OR 6.

FURTHER MORE, THE NUMBER OFMEMBERS IN MARTIAL ARTS AVERAGE LIKE ABOVE UP FROM 2000 TO 2020, OR AT MARTIAL ARTS, THEIR NUMBER WERE STARTED FROM 2005 and then increase still the end of 2020 are 18 MEMBERS.

OVERALL, MOST OF PEOPLE PARTICIPANTS IN FILM CLUB THEIR NUMBER OF PEOPLE IS 64 TO 65

AND THA AVERGS ARE NUMBER OF 18 SO THAT IS FINAL.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify several relevant series and convey some broad movements, especially the decline in amateur dramatics and the strong rise in table tennis. However, key details are misreported or confused: table tennis is described as unchanged from 2000 to 2010, although it rises from about 16 to 20, and the figure of 18 at the end belongs to musical performances, not martial arts. The martial-arts line fluctuates around the mid-30s, rather than rising to 18. Your overview also repeats that film-club participation is around 64–65 without clearly comparing the main trends. Select the most important patterns and report them accurately, distinguishing all five activities.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a basic sequence, with an opening, several activity descriptions and a final summary, and linking phrases such as “Moreover” and “On the other hand” show an attempt to connect ideas. However, the progression is difficult to follow because several activities and figures are mixed together, and some sentences contain multiple unclear claims. For example, the paragraph beginning “Furthermore” shifts from martial arts to a figure of 18 that actually describes musical performances. The conclusion repeats the film-club figure but does not summarise the overall pattern. Use separate, clearly organised paragraphs for an overview and the main comparisons, and make each sentence focus on one activity or trend.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

Your vocabulary is basic and repetitive, with frequent reliance on “number,” “members,” “time” and “increase/decrease.” Some task-related terms, including “participants,” “amateur dramatics” and “martial arts,” are appropriate, but several word choices make the meaning hard to interpret: “contestants” is not suitable for people attending activities, and “spend their time at film club” does not clearly describe participation. Spelling errors such as “geraphs,” “accualy” and “tenis” also strain the reader. Build a more precise range for describing data, using terms such as “attendance,” “remained stable,” “fluctuated” and “rose sharply,” and check spelling and collocations carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

There are attempts to link clauses with “and,” “but” and “when,” but sentence structures are very limited and errors are frequent enough to obscure relationships between ideas. For example, “the number of 16 they actually spent their time” lacks a clear grammatical structure, while “their number were started from 2005” has problems with agreement and verb form. Tense and sentence boundaries are also inconsistent, as in the long sentence describing amateur dramatics. Practise writing short, complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, then combine ideas using accurate clauses. Check singular/plural agreement, articles and punctuation so that each comparison is easy to understand.

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