Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

 

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The Graph illustrate the number of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020

Overall trend, The showed increase the rate in different activities However In some showed in the end it showed fall and some showed rise

Initially,In 2000 and 2005 the film club was showed almost 65 percentage however it showed in 2005 almost 63 pecentage participants Moreover table tennis was almost 23 participants in 2000 however in 2005 the participants showed rise it up 20 percentage. The value of mertial arts and musical performances showed almost 35 participants in 2000 in martila arts on the other hand the musical performance showed 0 participants in 2005. Amateur darmetics showed 28 percentage participants in 2000

In further More, In 2010 and 2020 the value pf Film club showed minor increase it was almost 66 percentage og participants , On the other side table tennis showed sharply Rise its value was went upto 55 percentage of participants More over the value of amateur darmatics showed Down fall its value decrease to 8 percentage of participants . However,

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify several relevant activities and make an attempt at an overview, noting that some figures rise while others fall. However, the overview is too vague to convey the main patterns, and some details are inaccurate or unclear: table tennis starts at about 16, not 23, and amateur dramatics begins at about 26, rather than 28 percent. The response also omits important trends, especially the sharp growth in table tennis and the decline in amateur dramatics, while the film club remains broadly stable. Some comparisons are attempted, but the account does not consistently select and report the key features accurately. A clearer overview followed by accurate comparisons across the period would make the response more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the response into an overview and two body sections, and time markers such as “Initially” and “In further More” show an effort to guide the reader. However, the progression is difficult to follow because the time periods and activities are mixed together, and several sentences contain unclear or incomplete relationships between ideas. For example, the sentence beginning “The value of mertial arts and musical performances…” combines two different series without clearly explaining their figures. Linking phrases such as “Moreover” and “On the other side” are repeated or used awkwardly, and the final “However” leaves the response unfinished. Grouping trends more logically and using clear transitions would improve coherence.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses some task-related vocabulary, including “participants,” “increase,” “rise,” and “fall,” so the reader can recognise the general subject. However, the range is basic and repetitive, and inaccurate word choices and spelling often strain understanding. Examples include “percentage” where the chart reports numbers of participants, “mertial arts” for martial arts, and “amateur darmetics” for amateur dramatics. Phrases such as “showed sharply Rise” and “showed Down fall” are also not natural descriptions of trends. Aim to use a small set of accurate chart terms consistently, such as “number,” “remained stable,” “increased sharply,” and “declined,” and check spelling of activity names.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to form longer sentences and use contrast, for example with “however” and “on the other hand,” but control of sentence structure is very limited. Errors are frequent and sometimes make the intended meaning difficult to follow. Examples include “The Graph illustrate,” “the film club was showed,” and “its value was went upto,” which show problems with agreement and verb forms. Several sentences also lack clear punctuation or contain incomplete constructions, including the opening overview and the final “However.” Most statements rely on similar simple patterns, with longer sentences often becoming faulty. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement and past-tense forms, then build clear comparisons using one main clause and a correctly joined contrast.

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