Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-16
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The line graph illustrates the numbers of participants for various activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia between 2000 to 2020.
Overall, it is clear that table tennis and musical performances exprienced a significant upward trend over the period shown. Conversely, the figures for amateur dramatics saw a general decline. Meanwhile the film club and martial arts remained stable throughtout the timeframe.
In year 2000 the table tennis started with 30 participant and by 2010 it reached its lowest peaked with approximately 20 participant, and by the end of period it peaked with around 50 participant. Also the musical performances exprience a increased, it strated in 2005 with only 0 participant and by 2020 it has around 20 participant.
By contrast, the table tennis saw a significant decline and by the end of timeframe it has a lowest participant. In year 2000 it has around 15 participant making it most highest figure compare to the musical performances, but in 2015 and 2020 it flaucted with around 10 participant and 0 participant of the end of period. Meanwhile the film club and martial arts remained relatively stable over the given period.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0
The response identifies some broad trends, including the rise in table tennis and musical performances and the fall in amateur dramatics. However, several key figures and trends are seriously misreported, so the account only minimally represents the graph. Table tennis began at about 16, not 30, and rose to around 54 by 2020; it did not decline to zero. The paragraph also wrongly describes the table-tennis figures as a decline, then assigns the low figures to that activity, apparently confusing it with amateur dramatics. Musical performances began in 2000, not 2005. The overview is a useful start, but the film club and martial arts are not simply unchanged: both fluctuate slightly. Check each series against the graph before selecting comparisons.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5
The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview and two detail paragraphs. Linking phrases such as “Overall,” “Conversely” and “By contrast” help signal relationships between ideas. However, the progression is weakened by a major contradiction: table tennis is first described as rising, then as declining, and the final paragraph repeats that it fell to zero. The detail paragraphs also mix up the activities, making it difficult to follow which figures belong to which series. Repetition of the claim that film club and martial arts remained stable adds little. Organise the details by grouping the rising series together and the declining or fluctuating series together, and use clear references to each activity.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary is sufficient to communicate basic trends, with phrases such as “upward trend,” “general decline” and “remained relatively stable.” However, the range is limited and several word-choice or spelling errors reduce precision, including “lowest peaked,” “most highest figure” and “flaucted.” Some phrases are also awkward for describing data, such as “the table tennis started with 30 participant.” Use standard chart language and check spelling and word forms carefully. For example, “participants” should be plural when referring to a group, and “reached a peak” is more natural than “peaked with.” More precise verbs such as “rose,” “fell,” “fluctuated” and “stood at” would help make comparisons clearer.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The response uses some simple and compound sentence forms, and the overall meaning is usually recoverable. However, grammatical errors are frequent, and attempts to describe changes across time are often faulty. Examples include “between 2000 to 2020” (use “between 2000 and 2020”), “it reached its lowest peaked,” and “by the end of period it peaked,” where articles and sentence structure are problematic. Tense and agreement are also inconsistent in phrases such as “it has around 20 participant” and “the table tennis saw.” Practise accurate past-tense reporting and basic article and plural patterns, then build longer sentences only when their structure remains clear.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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