Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

 

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

As we are here to talk about the social analitic in Melbourne Australia from the past period 2010 to 2020 . As we all know there everything in world must change in his timeline,So at first we wil talk about musicians and their performanes in that time if we see that graph there shown a high and bit up accelration in starting years ,but during time that eventually becoming staight and stuck on that its means peoples were changing their perspective with time and not to focus more in music like stuff ,But there a thing called table tennis comes over at starting peoplrs do not fit their piriorties in it and then there a huge start up and great interest sart in upcoming years. If we talk about amatuer dramas there a lil bit crowed in start but in the end if fells typically. The one thing that is still ln the track from begining to now is so called film club,As per graph there showing the interest of peoples on it develop alot by time.As its a great source of joy people always put it into their first piriority.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response identifies several relevant activities and notices broad patterns, particularly that table tennis rises and amateur dramatics declines. However, it only minimally reports the graph: it gives no participant figures and omits the key comparison that film club remains the most popular activity throughout, while table tennis grows to become the second-largest by 2020. Some trends are misread: musical performances begin at zero and rise gradually, rather than showing a high increase that later becomes flat; film club dips slightly before recovering, rather than simply developing over time. The discussion also focuses on imagined reasons and people’s priorities, which the graph does not show. A clearer overview and accurate comparisons of the five series would make the response more fully relevant.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a loose sequence through the activities, and phrases such as “if we talk about” signal a change of focus. However, the response is presented as one long paragraph, with no clear introduction or distinct overview, so the reader has to work to identify the main features. Ideas are often joined by commas and repeated “and then” or “but” constructions, creating run-on sentences rather than a controlled progression. The opening discussion of social change does not lead clearly into a summary of the data, and the final claim about film club’s popularity is not supported by a concise comparison. Organise the response into an introduction, an overview, and grouped details, using clear links between trends.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response attempts some topic-related vocabulary, including “participants,” “interest,” “priority,” and “source of joy,” and uses words such as “declining” in an effort to describe change. However, vocabulary is often basic, repetitive, or imprecise for reporting a graph. Phrases such as “high and bit up acceleration,” “straight and stuck,” and “a huge start up” do not clearly describe the trends, while “social analitic” and “amatuer dramas” are inaccurate forms or spellings. The repeated references to people’s changing perspectives also introduce meaning not supported by the chart. Use precise trend language—such as “fluctuated,” “remained stable,” and “rose sharply”—and check spelling and collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts longer sentences and some linking structures, but grammatical control is weak and errors frequently make the relationships between ideas difficult to follow. For example, “As we are here to talk about…” is an awkward opening construction, and “there shown a high…” lacks a correctly formed verb phrase. Subject–verb agreement and sentence boundaries are also problematic in “there showing the interest” and the long clauses joined mainly by commas. Tense and article use are inconsistent, and capitalisation and punctuation are not controlled. Practise writing short, complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, then combine them using accurate clauses. A reliable pattern such as “The number rose from… to…” would help convey trends clearly.

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