Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

 

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The line graph illustrates the number of individuals at unsimilar majour activies at one community centre in Melbourne, Australia over the two decades between 2000 to 2000.

In 2000,Looking at he flim club accounted for above 60 participants enrolled and some flucations had been seen over the 20 year period.Secondly martial arts at almost 36 students contribute in 2000.Moreover these figures fell and again surge over two decades steadily.In the differnt way table tennis player at 17 player in year 2000 and we could see that it was the highest figure had highest growth of particapte [redacted phone].

On the other hand,in 2000 amateur dramatics with 25 contributer and figures decline over the 20 year year period.At last,musical performances in 2000 no individuals were enrolled and then in year 2005 one person got admisson in these centre and percentage goes very less.

Overall, the data reveals that structural growth in these two figures such as flim club. Furthermore amateur dramatics, tabble tennis very less participants contribute and musical performences reveals that in 2000 there are no students in Melbourne, Austraila

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify the graph’s subject and mention all five activities, with some relevant observations: film-club participation stays above 60, amateur dramatics declines, and table tennis grows. However, the account is only minimally developed and several details are inaccurate or unclear. The period is written as “2000 to 2000” rather than 2000–2020; musical performances began in 2010, not 2005, and rose to about 18 by 2020, rather than remaining “very less.” The overview is also contradictory: table tennis is described as having the highest growth, but later as having “very less participants.” State the main trends accurately and compare the final figures, especially table tennis’s sharp rise and amateur dramatics’ fall.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is an attempt to organise the response into an introduction, a body and an overall statement, and signposts such as “On the other hand” show an effort to connect information. However, the progression is difficult to follow because several activities and time periods are compressed into long, unclear sentences. For example, “Moreover these figures fell and again surge over two decades steadily” does not make clear which figures changed or when. The final overview repeats earlier information but does not provide a consistent summary. Grouping the trends into clear paragraphs—for example, stable or fluctuating activities versus those with major rises or falls—and using precise references such as “this figure” would make the report more coherent.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some task-related vocabulary, including “participants,” “decline,” “growth” and “period,” so the reader can recognise the general subject. However, the range is basic and repetitive, and frequent spelling and word-choice problems strain understanding. Examples include “unsimilar majour activies,” “flim club,” “flucations” and “contributer.” Some expressions are also unnatural or imprecise, such as “percentage goes very less” and “got admisson.” For a graph report, use accurate terms consistently, such as “number of participants,” “rose,” “fell,” “remained stable” and “reached.” Check spelling carefully and avoid describing participant numbers as percentages when the graph shows counts.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts to report changes over time, but sentence structures are very limited and errors are frequent enough to obscure relationships between ideas. The opening phrase “over the two decades between 2000 to 2000” has an incorrect time construction, while “martial arts at almost 36 students contribute in 2000” lacks a clear grammatical structure and appropriate tense. There are also problems with sentence boundaries and punctuation, as in “In 2000,Looking at he flim club…” and “On the other hand,in 2000…”. Practise building complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, and use past-tense forms consistently: for example, “The film club had about 64 participants in 2000 and remained broadly stable.”

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