Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

 

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Introduction: This paragraph tells about the different activites and different participants who took admission in competions and challenges.The paragraph shows the social activites which is held in Melbourne from 2000 to 2020. From the start 2000 participants are very happy to participate in film industry because they saw their future in film industry but as the time past people does not participate mush in the film industry or film clubs ongoing to 2020 people decreased the ratio from 79% to 65% and same as Martial arts in 2000 almost 15% and interested in participation and in 2020 it ratio goes crazy it goes on 45%. Now we go to Armateur dramatics on the start it is very popular their ratio in 2000 is 28% and later that percentages goes to 7% in 2020 and tabble tennis their ratio is 15% on the start and later that percentage went to almost 70% which is such not understandable and now the last one which is Musical performances which is not famous in the start as the time past it became quite famous in 2010 with 11% and on the end the people of Melbourne and became interested in musical performances and that percentages goes to 22% in end of the year 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response identifies all five activities and attempts to describe changes over the period, including the decline in amateur dramatics and the rise in table tennis. However, the account is only minimally effective as a summary: it gives no clear overview of the main patterns and repeatedly misreports the data. For example, film-club participation is described as falling from 79% to 65%, whereas it stays around 60–66 participants; martial arts is said to rise to 45%, although it fluctuates around the mid-30s. The response also treats participant numbers as percentages and adds unsupported explanations such as people seeing a future in the film industry. Focus on accurate figures, avoid speculation, and state the key overall contrasts before selecting supporting details.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic attempt to move through the activities in sequence, using phrases such as “Now we go to” and “now the last one.” This gives the reader some sense of progression, but the response is presented as one long paragraph and does not separate an introduction, overview, and detailed comparisons. The repeated transitions make the account feel like a list rather than a logically organised summary, while several ideas run together in long sentences. Grouping the activities by trend—for example, rising table tennis, declining amateur dramatics, and relatively stable film club and martial arts—would create clearer progression. Use a distinct overview and more precise links between comparisons.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses some task-related vocabulary, including “participants,” “ratio,” “popular,” and “interested,” and it attempts to describe change with phrases such as “went to” and “became quite famous.” However, the vocabulary is basic and often repetitive, and several choices are inaccurate for describing a graph. “Took admission in competions and challenges” does not clearly express participation in social-centre activities, while “film industry” is not the same as a film club. Spelling errors such as “activites,” “Armateur,” and “tabble” also weaken clarity. Build a more precise range of trend language and use “number” rather than “percentage” when reporting participant counts.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts to connect ideas in extended sentences, but grammatical control is inconsistent and errors frequently make the relationships between ideas difficult to follow. Examples include “as the time past,” “people does not participate,” and “that percentages goes,” where tense, agreement, and verb forms are not controlled. Sentence boundaries and punctuation are also weak: the opening runs several ideas together, and the final sentence contains an unclear subject and verb sequence. Most structures rely on simple clauses joined by “and” or “but,” with little accurate variety. Practise writing shorter, complete sentences first, then add controlled comparisons using past-tense verbs and correct subject–verb agreement.

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