Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-18

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

 

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The graph lines illustrate information on the numbers Of participants for different activities at social center in Melbourne,

Australia for the period 2000 to 2020

In 2000 film club was at highest 63 % Almost in 2010 minorr down after that steadly incresaed upto 70% . however the table tannis was at 18 % in 2000 then slowly incresed to 20% in 2010 then significantly goes up to 55% in 2020.

moreover the the Amateur dramatics was at 28 % in 2000 then seen minor surge in 2005 then drop. Material art was 38% then minor go down in 2005 then slides up in 2010 ups and down till 2020. musical performance were at very Low in 2005 then goes upto 10 % in 2010 slowly changes stoped at 12%

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify several relevant activities and report some broad movements, especially the rise in table tennis and the decline in amateur dramatics. However, the response addresses the task only minimally: it has no clear overview of the main patterns, and several figures or trends are inaccurate. For example, film club ends at about 66, not 70, while amateur dramatics falls steadily after 2005 rather than showing only a minor drop. The musical performances series begins at zero in 2000 and reaches about 18 in 2020, which is not captured accurately. The response also contains 111 words, below the required 150, so important comparisons and details are missing. Add a concise overview and accurately compare the major rises, falls and stable series.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic attempt to group information, with film club and table tennis discussed first and the remaining activities introduced with “moreover.” This gives the reader some sense of topic progression. However, the response is not arranged into clear paragraphs, and there is no distinct overview to guide the reader through the main features. Connections between ideas are often unclear: “Almost in 2010 minorr down after that” does not clearly explain the sequence, and “ups and down till 2020” leaves the trend unspecified. The repeated use of “then” also makes the account feel like a list rather than a connected summary. Organise the response into an introduction, overview and two detail paragraphs, and use clear comparisons to link related trends.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some task-relevant vocabulary, including “participants,” “increased,” “drop,” and “significantly,” and these choices show an attempt to describe change rather than simply list figures. However, the range is limited and several word choices or spellings make the meaning difficult to follow, such as “minor go down,” “slides up,” and “slowly changes stoped.” The activity name “Material art” is also inaccurate; the chart says “Martial arts.” Repeated reliance on “then” and “up” limits precision, while “63%” incorrectly presents participant numbers as percentages. Use accurate activity labels and a wider set of precise trend verbs, such as “fluctuated,” “declined steadily,” and “rose sharply,” while reporting numbers as participants.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts to form connected sentences and uses some time references, but its grammatical range is very limited and errors are frequent enough to make several statements hard to interpret. For example, “In 2000 film club was at highest” lacks an article and a complete natural structure, while “then significantly goes up” shifts tense within a past-time report. The sentence beginning “Material art was 38% then minor go down” has an incomplete verb pattern, and the final clause, “slowly changes stoped at 12%,” is difficult to parse. Punctuation and sentence boundaries are also inconsistent. Practise complete past-tense sentences with clear subjects and verbs, and use full stops to separate each activity’s trend.

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