Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

 

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The graph compares the number of athelites were particpated in five different activities Such as; Film club, martial arts, Amateur dramatics, table tennieand Musical performances at social centre in Melbourne, Australia Between 2000 to 2020.

Film club remained the most top of the chart by holding greatest number of particpant. meanwhile, there's an activity Musical performaces introduced in 2005. It contains fewer participant during the entire tenure. Although in 2010, Amateur dramatics and table tennis meets by having equal numbers of participant 20 and a sudden increment in amateur dramtics throughout the remaning period of time. However the table tennis went down to the lowest point over the years to 10 participants. In the end Martial arts was the activity that remains slightly balanced during the entire period from 37 to 32.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response identifies the five activities and notes that the film club is the largest, but it does not provide a reliable summary of the graph’s main trends. Several key details are reversed or inaccurate: musical performances began in 2010, not 2005; amateur dramatics declined from 28 in 2005 to 6 in 2020, rather than increasing; and table tennis rose sharply to 54, rather than falling to 10. The overview also says musical performances had the fewest participants throughout, although they overtook amateur dramatics by 2015. The response is below the required 150 words, which further limits the detail reported. Focus on the overall rises and falls, then support them with accurate comparisons.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: an opening sentence introduces the chart, followed by comments on several activities. Linking expressions such as “Meanwhile,” “Although,” and “However” show an effort to connect ideas. However, the information does not progress clearly from an overview to well-organised details, and some links do not express the intended relationship. For example, “Although” introduces a comparison without a clear main clause, while the sentence about amateur dramatics and table tennis combines an equality in 2010 with an inaccurate later trend. Separate the overview from the detailed comparisons, and group activities with similar trends. This would make the sequence easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses some relevant chart vocabulary, including “remained,” “introduced,” “increment,” and “lowest point,” and the activity names make the topic clear. However, the range is limited and several word choices or spellings reduce precision, such as “athelites,” “particpant,” “tennieand,” and “dramtics.” Some phrases are also unnatural for describing data: “most top of the chart,” “entire tenure,” and “went down to the lowest point” do not communicate the trends accurately or naturally. Use standard terms such as “participants,” “rose,” “fell,” and “fluctuated,” and check spelling carefully. More precise vocabulary would help distinguish a steady decline from a sharp increase.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts some longer sentence forms, including a contrast beginning “Although” and a sentence using “However,” but control is inconsistent. The opening has faulty structure in “the number of athelites were particpated,” and the phrase “Between 2000 to 2020” uses an incorrect preposition pattern. There are also problems with articles, agreement, and sentence boundaries, as in “Film club remained the most top” and “Martial arts was the activity that remains.” Capitalisation and punctuation are inconsistent, and the long sentence about the 2010 figures is difficult to parse. Practise accurate simple comparisons first, then combine them with correctly formed clauses and consistent past-tense verbs.

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