Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

 

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The line graph illustrated that took knowledge about the number of participants for some activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia between 2000 to 2020.

Overall, the number of participants by different activities like film club, martial arts, amateur dramatics, table tennis, and musical performance. The rapidly changes of participants in table tennis activity as compared to the other activities.

Firstly, diagram represents the number of participants in table tennis activity and these were rapidly increased the period of time around 2000 to 2020 and the musical performances were start in 2005 and in these participants were increased in 2005. The competitions were remains constant in film activity between 2000 to 2020.

Secondly, the diagram shows that the participants of martial arts were same approximately in 2000 to 2020 and the number of group members of amateur dramatics were steadily decreased a period of time and there are many changes in some activities.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify the activities and make a relevant attempt to summarise the main trends, especially the sharp rise in table tennis and the decline in amateur dramatics. However, the overview is incomplete and some details are inaccurate: musical performances began in 2010, not 2005, and their numbers rose to 18 by 2020; film-club participation fluctuated slightly rather than remaining constant. The response also gives few figures to support its comparisons, and the claim that table tennis rose “around 2000 to 2020” would be stronger with its approximate start and end values. The response is 146 words, below the required 150-word minimum. Add a clearer overview and accurate, selected data to address the task more fully.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a basic paragraph structure: an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. The sequence from table tennis and musical performances to the other activities gives the reader some sense of organisation, and “Firstly” and “Secondly” signal a change in focus. However, progression is limited because several ideas are grouped together without clear relationships, and the overview sentence beginning “Overall” is incomplete. References such as “these” and “the competitions” are unclear, making it difficult to follow which activity is being discussed. Use one paragraph to compare the major rises and falls, and another for the more stable series, with clear references and linking phrases that show contrast.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant topic vocabulary, including “participants,” “activities,” “steadily decreased,” and “remains constant,” so the reader can recognise the subject and some trends. However, the range is limited and several word combinations or forms are unnatural, such as “took knowledge,” “rapidly changes,” and “the competitions” for participation figures. Repetition of “the diagram shows/represents” also limits variety. Choose precise trend language and collocations, for example, “the number of participants rose sharply” or “participation in the film club remained relatively stable.” These improvements would make the description clearer and more appropriate to an academic report while retaining the relevant vocabulary you already use.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts both simple and longer sentence forms, and the reader can understand the broad subject of most sentences. However, grammatical errors are frequent and sometimes make relationships unclear. For example, “The line graph illustrated that took knowledge” lacks a workable clause structure, while “the number of participants … were” has subject–verb disagreement. There are also problems with verb forms and tense, as in “were start” and “were rapidly increased,” and with prepositions in “between 2000 to 2020.” Aim first for accurate simple sentences using a clear subject and verb, such as “Table-tennis participation increased from 16 to 54.” Then combine ideas with correctly formed clauses.

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